Insight: Gay Marriage

Last night's Insight was on a topic that gets me really steamed: gay marriage.

There is absolutely no valid argument against it. The Howard government's stance on the issue- that it's not acceptable because it's not what the 'traditional' model of marriage is, is just a thinly disguised expression of bigotry. It's never been 'traditional' to live together before marriage, either, despite the percentage of couples doing so increasing markedly since the 1970s. Gam and I have been premarital-cohabiting for 4 years- does that mean there should be laws enacted to stop us from getting married? My grandma's 'traditional values' say that it's wrong. Why are there no laws against it?

My grandma's 'traditional values' also inform her that my brother's 'catholic' (not religious) girlfriend is part of the great Roman Catholic Conspiracy to Steal Young People Away from the Anglican Church by Marriage. I remember my primary school scripture teacher telling her class of 8 year olds how she had grown up in the Catholic church, and because she had fallen in love with and married a man whose affiliation was Church of England she was effectively excommunicated. There was a time when marrying outside your specific christian affiliation was a big deal. Outside the traditionally accepted view of marriage, even. Should there have been a law against it?

My grandma's 'traditional values' are affronted by the fact that Gam is black. Even today there are a lot of Australians with racist tendencies who don't approve of interracial marriage. 50 years ago a majority of Australians would have disapproved of it, if that's not the case any more. It was against traditional 'values' of white superiority. I guess that means there should be laws against interracial marriage until it can be proven that a majority of the Australian community supports it...

Last night's Insight included the usual spokespeople for bigotry: a catholic organisation, a Liberal Party member (probably standing in for the Labor Party, seeing as their policy on gay marriage is exactly the same as the Libs), the 'Australian Family Association' ('Family' in the names of organisations these days seems to be synonymous with right-wing christians). Interestingly one of the other guests on the show was what I could only refer to as a 'gay nazi'.

This guy was a hideous piece of work. He consistently shouted over the top of the more quietly-spoken guests, accused gay people who have children of being selfish and essentially saying that they and their children were asking be discriminated against simply due to the fact that they made the choice to have kids when there are laws in place to discriminate against gay people. This guy didn't have a problem with the laws, he had a problem with gay people. If he'd lived in Saudi Arabia and got caught having gay sex he'd be the biggest cheerleader at his own execution. That's how fucked up he was. By extension of his sick brand of logic, I suppose, when homosexual acts were against the law in Australia, any guy whose door was busted in by the police when he was in bed with a consensual male partner was just asking to be beaten up and jailed.

Anyway, the non-bigoted guests on the show included two young guys who had been together for eight years and had had to go to the US and find a surrogate in order to be able to start a family together. They had a beautiful baby son who they were obviously very proud of, and supportive parents. One of the guys had previously been a minister. I found that interesting, because out of the five curates who came to the church I grew up with for 18 years, two were gay. No-one knew at the time, though.

Another one was a woman who had had a daughter while in a lesbian relationship. I'm not sure how old the daughter was. I would have guessed early-mid 20s, but I gathered she might still be in school. The mother and her partner had broken up, but the girl had two mums and, as you might have guessed, seemed absolutely none the worse for wear. Funny that. Some wanker who was also a guest kept saying something like "there's still no evidence that gays and lesbians can actually raise children". Absolutely wrong. Apart from the evidence in the form of the gay couples with children on the show, every impartial study done on the topic has shown that children of gay couples are at least as well adjusted as the children of straight couples. And I would say any troubles that the children of gay couples have that are different from the children of heterosexual couples are simply the result of experiencing discrimination and bigotry against their parents.

I'm not even sure if I've mentioned this before in another post, because I tend to blab on and go off on all sorts of tangents, but my mum's best friend and her partner are a real picture of a successful relationship: they've been together for a year or so longer than my mum and dad have been married, which would make it about 25 years. Some time ago, I would say more than 5 years by now, mum's friend underwent IVF and they had a baby boy. I shouldn't even need to say that he is a perfectly lovely, perfectly normal, gregarious kid. They're great parents, and have raised kids in a more stable relationship than a hell of a lot of people do.

Gay marriage shouldn't even be an issue, and the fact that Australia's marriage laws are designed to be exclusive rather than inclusive turns me right off getting married, at least getting married here in Australia. I wouldn't deserve any fewer rights if Gam happened to be a woman. I wouldn't love him/her any less, and there wouldn't be any difference to my suitability as a parent, just my opportunity to be one. I would be just the same as I am now, only with fewer human rights than I have now.

I hate bigotry, and I detest our government.