Fred Nile vs. topless sunbathing

When Fred Nile calls for a ban on topless sunbathing on NSW beaches, what's the bet he's referring to a ban on women sunbathing topless and not calling for a return to the days when men were required to don bathing suits that covered their top half as well as the bottom?

Fucking sexist.

Now he claims he's doing it to protect the delicate sensibilities of our Muslim brethren (rather than being personally tormented by his fiendish inability to just not ogle women who choose to go topless), as well as protect would-be topless women from being accosted by irate Muslim men.

Keep digging Fred, you old bigot. Top-free equality for all!


Picture obtained from this fabulous blog-post.

Israel's latest assault on humanity

I'd been thinking that the media coverage of Israel's war on Gaza was rather woefully inadequate, and figured maybe it would take a few days for Gaza's side of the story to start trickling out. Stuff like this.

Tonight, however, I discovered why the coverage has been so damn poor. According to the BBC:

Israel is not currently permitting international journalists to cross into Gaza

Now, you'd think that that particular fact would be a pertinent one for, say, the Sydney Morning Herald to mention in the news articles on its website that pertain to Israel's attack on Gaza. Apparently not.

I was disgusted to read this piss-poor piece of reporting in the SMH yesterday, containing a quote from Israeli PM Ehud Olmert:

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert pledged Israel will do its utmost to avert a humanitarian crisis in Gaza.

"The people in Gaza do not deserve to suffer because of the killers and murderers of the terrorist organisation,'' he said, referring to Hamas.
He insisted that Israel had only hit Hamas targets, including command structures and rocket manufacturing installations.

I have two things to say about that:

A) There already is a humanitarian crisis in Gaza because of Israel's blockade of food, fuel and medical supplies. Something like 50% of children are malnourished, people are dying unnecessarily because of a lack of access to proper medical care, and there is running water only once per week. Israel has created a ghetto full of Palestinian people and is slowly starving them. 'Never again'? It's happening right under our noses and we're doing nothing to stop it because Israel uses the mantle of the Holocaust to deflect criticism for its crimes against humanity.

B) Bullshit only Hamas targets are being hit. In these situations there is always what the Americans like to call 'collateral damage'. The only reason we don't yet know about Israel's little 'whoopsies' that have ended in the bloody deaths of innocent civilians and children is because Israel is doing its best to keep journalists from the scene of their crimes. Here's something from a better-than-average article on the issue in the Guardian:

Ali Abu Rabia was a student at a UN vocational college for Palestinian refugees in the Rimal district of Gaza City. He sat an exam on Saturday morning, his father said, and after the first Israeli air strikes decided to go home. He was standing in the street with others when an Israeli missile struck, at around 1.30pm. Reportedly it had been aimed at a policeman seen nearby with a walkie-talkie.

"It was a place full of students. It was not a military base. But in spite of this they still attacked, all because of one policeman," said Ali's father

A single Hamas policeman in a public area filled with people certainly doesn't sound like a valid target to me. Nope. What Israel is doing is committing yet another round of crimes against humanity, with no regard for civilian life. Already it is being reported by the UN Palestinian Refugee Agency that at least 57 of the 300-odd victims were civilians.

The reporting on Israel's attack on Gaza is fucking disgraceful, as has been their way for years. Journalists who fail to do their job bear moral responsibility in the crimes they help cover up.

UPDATE 31/12/2008: At least 25% of all fatalities (390 and counting) in Israel's war on Gaza have been civilians. 42 children have been killed by Israel so far. God knows how many more are going to die unnecessarily because Israel continues to prevent medical supplies from reaching Gaza.

Playboy: a pre-internet relic

Holy. Crap. A month or so ago I received a renewal notice for my Playboy subscription. The usual- please send a 'check' (cheque) or credit card details to some snail-mail address. I tossed it in the recycling, because I always renew online.

Playboy's website is notoriously hard to navigate, for anyone (customers! Subscribers!) looking for information or a way to part with their dough, so when I couldn't find the appropriate subscription-renewal link I didn't worry too much- I emailed Playboy:

Hi,

I recently received a notification in the mail that it was time to renew
my subscription. I'd like to renew and pay online, but am unable to find
the facility to do so. Can you please tell me how I may renew my
subscription online?

Kind regards,

Sarah

================================

Thank you for contacting Playboy.

To enter your subscription for 12 issues for $45.00 in U.S. funds, it is
necessary to have payment in advance on orders addressed outside the
United States and its possessions.

Please provide a check, money order, or credit card information to the
address below; or call us. We do not accept credit card numbers through
email due to security reasons.

Playboy
PO Box 2007
Harlan, IA 51593

1-800-999-4438 or 1-515-243-1200

If we can be of further assistance, please let us know. To ensure your
future concerns are handled in a timely fashion, please include all
previous e-mail correspondence.

Sincerely,
Mary Jane

Thinking that surely she must have misunderstood me, I emailed again:

Hi,

I understand the need for payment in advance, and I would like to complete the transaction online via your website as I have done for each of my previous renewals. Is this no longer possible?

Regards,

Sarah

======================================

Thank you for contacting Playboy.

No, you can not do it online. We need your payment in advance.

If we can be of further assistance, please let us know. To ensure your future concerns are handled in a timely fashion, please include all previous e-mail correspondence.

Sincerely,
Mary Jane

How abso-fucking-lutely backward! How can a business be so regressive when it comes to provision of online customer service? It's no wonder the Playboy corporation is in a pile of poo, financially-speaking.

As for the idea that a payment sent from Australia via snail-mail is going to arrive earlier than when the transaction is carried out online- that alone just drew the biggest WTF? reaction I've had to anything in quite a while.

I very much enjoy reading and collecting issues of Playboy, but I am questioning whether I want to continue giving my money to a bunch of dinosaurs- with that kind of service regression they'll be asking for my subscription renewal to be wired in morse code next time it falls due- if the magazine is still being published at that point. God knows that if they're so internet-illiterate all of a sudden they're probably so functionally illiterate that they won't even be able to read whatever I wrote on the snail-mail renewal form anyway.

Thanks, Patrick!

Back in October, when our coffee-maker died prematurely, Patrick suggested we try a stovetop coffee maker such as a Bialetti/Moka pot.

We went to Myer shortly afterward to see what they had; there were two stovetop coffee makers- one similar to the one pictured in the Wikipedia article, costing ~$50, and the other a much sleeker and prettier Bodum 'Chambord' model, costing $150. I initially balked at the price of the latter, given it was almost as expensive as the coffee machine, but the cheap one had a nasty jagged edge on the inside rim- and we figured that the Bodum was likely to live longer than either of our previous coffee machines- so we went for it.

Ever since, we've been enjoying stovetop 'espresso'. It's not exactly the same- there is very little crema to speak of, but the coffee it makes is still really good.

An unforseen bonus is that it's portable: we actually took it to Yamba with us when we stayed there for a few days back in November (keeping in mind the awful, awful coffees we'd bought in Coolangatta shortly prior to our Yamba stay), and enjoyed good coffee the whole time. Of course, you'd need to be staying somewhere with a hotplate or gas cooktop... if you were really keen I suppose you could even take one camping!

I didn't even know stovetop espresso makers existed until Patrick pointed us in the right direction, and I'm very happy with the one we got- I suspect it will last a long time. So thanks for the tip, Patrick :)

Safe Sex Made Interesting

Here's a couple of safe sex TV spots from France.



I put the gay themed one up first because I think it's better and has a clearer message, "have fun, but don't be an idiot." This is compared to the straight themed one which is, "you'll never feel complete till you have a conventional courtship/marriage/mortgage. The gay dude is clearly having way more fun."

Of course you'll never see anything like this in Australia because teaching children the skills they need to live their lives sensibly is 'controversial'. Enjoy them till the Rudd/Conroy internet filter makes it illegal/impossible.

Ronan the Red and the impending Queensland election

Over the last month or so, we've seen plenty of spruikers sitting by the roadside, accompanied by sandwich boards advertising either Ronan Lee or the LNP candidate for the state seat of Indooroopilly. Despite Anna Bligh's denials that she is going to call an early election, it looks like the other political parties are all calling her a liar.

Anyway, as someone who intends to vote Green- and who unexpectedly wound up with a Green MP as the sitting MP in our electorate- I've been very interested to see that the signs Ronan Lee has been using to advertise in fact make no mention whatsoever of the Queensland Greens, or any Greens for that matter. The signs are coloured bright red and white, and contain no indication as to what party Mr Lee is sitting for. When I saw these signs soon after his defection, I assumed their lack of party insignia was due to not yet having had signs printed promoting him as the local Green MP. Almost 3 months on, I'm not sure that excuse would hold water. At least his placeholder website, though woefully incomplete, appears to portray Ronan Lee's party affiliations accurately.

Apart from his careful avoidance of any of the social issues upon which the Greens are renowned for their strong stance- Lee has been a one-note 'green' Green- I find it curious, although not entirely surprising, that he appears to be essentially running as an independent, despite possibly having an even higher profile now by virtue of his defection to the Greens from Anna Bligh's Labor party. Why?

The reason that first springs to mind is the fact that aside from the hordes of students who inhabit this electorate, there live thousands of 'riche' whose political leanings more naturally align with Howard-era Liberal philosophies. Some of them must have voted for Lee during the last two state elections for him to be elected. It wouldn't be surprising if polling showed that members of this particular group of voters were turned off by his visible association with the Greens and that his less-than-low-key association with the party in his advertising were an attempt to retain those votes.

That's pretty much the only plausible explanation I can come up with. If this is really the case, then, as a Green voter and more of an idealist than a pragmatist, I find it dishonest. As dishonest as Lee's failure to address any issues that don't concern the environment- as if the same issues of social equality and reproductive rights that affect the rest of Australia don't exist here- given the fact he has failed to reconcile his conservative Catholic background with the principles and policies espoused by the Greens. The Queensland Greens might be happy to play this game and retain a rare sitting MP in the state parliament, but if voters in the Indooroopilly electorate are voting for Ronan Lee and not the Queensland Greens' policies, then what's the point of having him there? And why on earth wouldn't he run as an independent if he feels like the 'Green' label is such a taint?

I'd be much happier voting for an honest loser than a dishonest Green, and indeed I will if it turns out there's someone running as an independent whose policies align with my values to a greater extent than do Ronan Lee's. This was the highlight of the Queensland Greens' year?

Xiaoxiao: meet the (Grand) parents

Mum and Dad took the news of our 'illegal' cat as well as could be expected. Mum, of course, fell in love with Xiaoxiao at first sight. Dad engaged in some relatively mild finger-wagging, noting that the body corporate rules didn't allow it, blah blah blah... I countered by pointing out that technically we aren't allowed to hang our clothes out to dry on our balcony either, but we still do it (is that ever a stupid, backward, environmentally-unfriendly rule or what?! All for keeping up appearances, of course). Today he again criticised us (me) for getting her, saying she would 'restrict' us... That kind of fell flat, given that we already have Feifei and he doesn't exactly cramp our style by making it difficult for us to schedule our overseas holidays... given that we can't afford overseas holidays! But I suppose Dad, while not exactly liking the situation, can see the inevitability of it. After all, illegal or not, I'm not the sort of person to ever dump or get rid of a pet, regardless of my personal circumstances. That I allowed Mum and Dad to adopt out my two pet silky chickens a year or so after I left home still eats at me.

Feifei, ever the anti-social beastie that he is, even towards his doting grandmother, avoided spending time with my parents by staying outdoors for much of the day during the time they were here. My parents seemed convinced that he was spending less time with them than usual because he was jealous of Xiaoxiao- I showed them the picture above, taken yesterday, to prove otherwise. Feifei doesn't want to spend his every waking minute with Xiaoxiao, but from the amount of play they engage in and the way they sleep together, the way he conscientiously grooms her when she stops wriggling long enough to allow it, I am fairly sure Feifei has absolutely no 'issues' arising from Xiaoxiao's arrival in our family.

The only thing he really has a problem with is Xiaoxiao's steadfast refusal to learn toilet etiquette- she still insists on gawping at Feifei, if not jumping on him, while he is in the litter tray! When I see this happening, or about to happen, I grab Xiaoxiao and take her to another room long enough for Feifei to use his toilet... if I'm not around and Feifei needs to go but Xiaoxiao won't leave him alone, Feifei will come to me and have a whinge until I rectify the situation!

In short, we have one happy grandparent, one not-so-happy grandparent, two happy cats, one happy Sarah and one grudgingly-happy Gam.

Interestingly, none of the cats- including the RMs' cat Thomasina- were more than minimally interested in eating scraps of the Christmas turkey... it made me wonder what was wrong with it!

Happy Christmas 2008

Gam and I are up way later than we should be thanks to last-minute cooking and cleaning prior to my parents' arrival. The cooking is all under control, but the cleaning will have to continue in the morning. We couldn't resist taking a nibble of the cherry-glazed ham... we bought a free-range Melanda Park ham this year from a different butcher to our usual- it's a world away from any other ham we've ever had. I don't think we'll buy any other kind of ham ever again!

I've baked a whole heap of profiteroles and made pastry cream for making chocolate eclairs for dessert tomorrow, plus a batch of biscotti... or rather 2 batches of biscotti... we neglected to provide ourselves with a proper dinner today so the first batch wound up being Gam's last refuge from starvation! Gam did the ham and will be roasting a turkey tomorrow... we've been lucky to have the use of our Resident Managers' oven as well as our own, because we're looking after the place- and their lovely old cat, Thomasina. Poor Thommie has lost a lot of weight over the last year and it's looking like a downhill run for her, but she still has a good appetite so I'm feeding her 3 times a day in an effort to get a bit of weight on her- and succeeding, I think!

Despite my intention to inform my parents of Xiaoxiao's existence prior to their arrival either yesterday or today, I was too busy to bother and so Xiaoxiao, like Feifei, will be a 'surprise cat'. At least, with my not having even hinted at her existence, they won't arrive half-expecting a grandchild on the way like they did with Feifei. Still, the whole thing is a bit stressful. My dad definitely isn't a cat person (though his mother was, big time!) and I don't know how charitable his mood will be. Mum, on the other hand, can be pretty much relied on to melt upon meeting her second 'grandcat'.

I actually made an effort towards Christmas decorations this year- I've collected 7 Christmas issues of Playboy, so I decided to display them on our magazine racks.

My Uncle Richard was supposed to be coming up with my parents- part of the reason we begged our RMs for the use of the just-vacated unit upstairs from us for a couple of nights (my parents had the bizarre, godawful idea of sleeping him on the floor in our living room/kitchen area!). Now it turns out he may not be coming because his partner suddenly developed a bad back... thankfully I don't think she's injured, but if he can't come it will be disappointing... we've never had him up here for Christmas.

Sooo tired now, must go to bed. I hope you all have a lovely, happy Christmas, and everyone who is travelling enjoys a safe and stress-free trip :)

Matt McConaughey hot solo beach fun

A minute ago I stumbled across the above (evidently photoshopped) pictures of Matthew McConaughey, a.k.a Michelle's husband, on Defamer Australia. I'm not sure what the point of the pictures is, other than someone having some naughty, juvenile fun with photoshop, but I'm not beneath appreciating crude and juvenile photoshop humour. It would be a hell of a lot more funny if it was a job on someone who might actually be offended by it, but with every picture of Nicole Kidman depicting her in a state of near deathly rictus I suppose it wouldn't look nearly as authentic.

Queensland government cures the 'Ice Plague'

Me, attempting to buy Clarinase for hayfever relief under Stephen Robertson's super-dooper Pseudoephedrine Enforcement Taskforce.

Good news! Queensland's incompetent health minister Stephen Robertson, when not preoccupied by diminishing the seriousness of the lapses under his watch that led to the rape of a nurse in the Torres Strait, has been single-handedly stemming the flow of meth onto Queensland's streets. It is now no longer possible for anyone to buy meth, thanks to Stephen's crackdown on dodgy pharmacists. Hooray Stephen!

Meanwhile, with Ivory Curl trees in flower, my hayfever is at an all-time high. I'm forking out $10.95 for a 6 pack of Clarinase- $14.95 if I have to get it from the Taringa Day & Night Pharmacy that lasts me 3 days. I'm starting to wonder if it would be cheaper to have a meth habit instead of hayfever.

Having to go and buy this shit every 3 days instead of once a week means I have to endure the routine interrogation twice as often:

Q: "What are you taking this for?"

A: I'm a meth cook and I'm buying a six-tablet-pack of Clarinase within a 50km radius of here, because at >$2 a tablet it makes great economic sense to do so My hayfever.


Q: "Have you seen a doctor about it?"

A: No, I quite enjoy having hayfever so debilitating I can get through a 250-pack of tissues in one day. The sensation of having your face swollen and your nose and eyes running for hours, rendering you unable to complete any normal activities is something I highly recommend. I've never seen the need to ask a doctor if there's anything more I can do to cure it. Er, yes, many times.

Q: Can I have your licence, please?

A: Yup, here you go. Why yes, this doesn't make me feel like at all like a criminal rather than someone with a debilitating medical condition that requires a drug to control it in order that they may lead a somewhat normal life.

Today was just a great example of how well Stephen Robertson's system is working. I was in dire need of some Clarinase, so we walked to Toowong and I went to the Discount Drugstore, where I normally purchase it. They were out of stock, but the pharmacy assistant sold me a packet of Demazin, telling me it was pretty much the same, only I could take one every 6 hours instead of every 12 hours. My hayfever was so bad I didn't wait until we got home to take one- we bought a bottle of water in Coles and I swallowed a Demazin before we walked home.

Shortly after we got home, I became incredibly tired and passed out in bed for a couple of hours before Gam woke me. It took me another 15 minutes to drag myself out of bed- I was incredibly thirsty but felt unable to get up.

It was then that Gam asked me to check the pack of Demazin to find out whether the antihistamine it contained was one that induced drowsiness. It was. I know I should have read the packet before taking one, but I'm not always in the soundest frame of mind when I have bad hayfever. The pharmacy assistant had told me it was pretty much the same as Clarinase, except for the dosage instructions. Failing to mention that the antihistamine in Demazin, unlike the one in Clarinase, was one that induced drowsiness was a huge omission: antihistamines of the non-drowsy variety always knock me out cold.

Gam, not liking the idea that the only antihistamine-decongestant I had at my disposal was one that rendered me unconscious, drove us to the Taringa Day & Night, whereupon we had to repeat the whole interrogation- after the girl first told us they'd sold out then, when Gam made some disbelieving comment, went and found some. God knows whether daring to buy two medications containing pseudoephedrine in one day will place a red flag against my name in Stephen Robertson's stupid system and cause the interrogations to be even more irritating, humiliating and stressful in the future. I wonder whether the system persecutes pharmacists who don't see the need to make their customers feel like criminals before handing out a single 6-tablet-packet of a drug that is now about 3 times as expensive as it used to be before the government started this crap.

Thank god that at least we can all rest safe in the knowledge that there is no more Ice on Queensland streets.

We went to watch Quantum of Solace (It was ok, not memorable) and I kept noticing these weird, shimmering points of light on the darker areas of the screen. It turns out that this is some crap to watermark movies in case someone camcords them.

1) I paid for this shit? I just fucking forked out for a movie ticket and the motherfuckers give me a shitty, messed up product that assumes I'm a criminal.

2) Everyone not stuck in a nursing home (or snorting cocaine off a hooker in Hollywood) knows that you don't DL the cammed movies! Fucking hell, you get the DVDrip or the screener. The only people watching cammed movies bought them in a market in Peshawar or Lagos. They can't afford to go see your movie anyway and the authorities there could give a flying fuck about your 'intellectual property'.

3) You've paid for this, pissed off a paying customer and not stopped a SINGLE fucking person from downloading your movie. In fact the person who downloads a movie now gets a better product than if they buy a DVD (no 'you are a thief' ads) OR watch it in a cinema. You now have ZERO product that is better than the DL. Think of how many millions of dollars you could have saved if you'd asked a 12 year old if this would have worked. You could have used the money to make National Lampoons XXXIIV: Vacation to Kabul.

Christmas Comes Early

Nicole Kidman (yes, those are both pictures of her) has not had any plastic surgery (she only uses sunscreen) and is very butthurt. Please watch Australia as many times as you can, 'sunscreen' doesn't pay for itself

Nicole Kidman is so butthurt by criticism by Australia (a giant turkey by all accounts, Margaret Pomeranz liked it and she looks like a maltese poodle with 'roo testicle earrings, come on!) that she's going to spend Xmas in America, where they hate her shitty movie even more. The only reason this dreck is making any money at all is because there simply aren't any movies to watch. There's nothing, it's like a movie wasteland. I reckon it's the worst Xmas period for movies since 1994.

NICOLE KIDMAN has been so hurt by the personal attacks on her since the release of Australia, she will stay in America for Christmas.

A close friend said the Oscar winner was upset at not celebrating daughter Sunday Rose's first birthday in Sydney.

"She's been so upset by all of it," the friend said. "It really has devastated her."

Although Kidman has received some positive reviews for her role as Lady Sarah Ashley in the Baz Luhrmann epic - including from respected ABC critic Margaret Pomeranz - much of the media attention, at home and abroad, has been negative.

"People seem to to be really going for her; I don't quite get it," Kidman's friend said.

"Many of Australia's own critics gave her strong praise in the role - why are we ignoring what our own critics are saying? It seems very unfair - and it is very distressing for Nicole."

Even longtime allies of Kidman have been on the attack. Deborah Thomas, editorial director of Australian Women's Weekly, ridiculed her on Channel Nine's Today show last week for saying she had only used sunscreen to keep her face looking youthful. Thomas urged Kidman to be more open about any cosmetic procedures she might have had.

SMH

Lol! because Nicole has never had ANY plastic surgery! Though her eerie translucence could be explained by sunscreen, SPF 500 sunscreen, and being dead for 3 days.

Homosexuality for Christians in two sentences:

Nomnomnom or no no no?
Christians, don't be hypocrites.

The 'eternal truth' is that you should love your neighbour as yourself. The 'truth' is not to be found in the minor reaches of Leviticus, where eating prawns and sleeping with a man are matters of moral concern.

Actor Sir Ian McKellen, quoted in the Guardian.

Stuck on Stupid

I thought we didn't have any money left? We're having to rethink paid maternity leave and many of the new govt.'s election promises might not be met because they just aren't economically feasible. Yet somehow there's enough cash to spend to the tune of $500,000 a person to detain them on an island. 37*500,000 = $18,500,000. Could it perhaps be cheaper to get a community organisation to look after these people? Even if we did that and paid each of them $10,000 a year, it would take around 50 years to reach the same level of exorbitant, flagrant idiocy of building a high security prison on an island.

This is the same government that called the Christmas island detention centre a white elephant (which it was, along with the "Pacific solution") before it got elected. Can't they just let someone with a brain have a crack at the problem?

So, they tortured him.

The shoe-chucker Muntazer al-Zaidi, Iraq's new hero, has apparently written a letter saying he is very sorry for throwing his shoes at outgoing US president George W. Bush.

The man who, only a few days ago, yelled at Bush:

"This is a farewell kiss from the Iraqi people, you dog! This is for the widows and orphans and all those killed in Iraq."

The only reason Zaidi is sorry for speaking the truth and warming millions of peoples' hearts by humiliating George Bush on his final visit to the site of his biggest human catastrophe, is because the 'free' Iraqi government has tortured him into doing so. I wouldn't be surprised to learn they've made threats on his family, either.

Dear God: Please direct wrath here...

If there ever was a place that deserved some horrible disaster to strike, it would be the obscenity that is the upcoming Palazzo Versace hotel in Dubai:

The Palazzo Versace fashion house will have a network of pipes beneath the sand containing a coolant that will absorb heat from the surface, reports The Australian.

The swimming pool will be refrigerated and there are also proposals to install giant blowers to waft a gentle breeze over the beach.

I was going to add that hopefully the tsunami/typhoon/earthquake/volcano/terrorist attack would happen before the monstrosity is filled with guests, but frankly I don't think that wiping from the face of the earth anyone who chose to stay at that place would be a disservice to humanity, I really don't.

The swimming pool will be refrigerated and there are also proposals to install giant blowers to waft a gentle breeze over the beach.

"We will suck the heat out of the sand to keep it cool enough to lie on," said Soheil Abedian, founder and president of Palazzo Versace.

"This is the kind of luxury that top people want."

In that case I'll add to my wishlist of disasters to befall this place the hope that the giant blowers will somehow malfunction and suck Soheil Abedian and the rich tossers who holiday at his hotel into a fast-rotating fan blade, mincing them up finely and then spraying their bodies out to sea. This hotel isn't just an act of supreme wankery, it's spitting in the face of every normal human being who is set to suffer the consequences of global warming. These fuckers are just busy imagining all the new places they'll be able to moor their yachts if sea levels rise.

Small cat, underage drinker

Going crazy and kicking herself in the head, followed by attacking her own foot, is a common occurrence.

On Friday night we gave the Small Cat, a.k.a Xiaoxiao, yet another chance. That would be a chance to spend the night on our bed, or at least not locked in the bathroom, without peeing somewhere inappropriate. This time, she didn't blow it, and has not been locked in the bathroom since.

Xiaoxiao's freedom has come somewhat to Feifei's chagrin. While he is clearly fond of having a catty-friend to play with during the day, Feifei was overtly smug at the fact that he alone was invited to sleep on the bed at night, while the small cat was locked in the bathroom. How does a cat look smug? I'm not sure, but Feifei did. Plus he purred a lot more- maybe it was partly due to the fact that he was able to get pats and cuddles from me without having Xiaoxiao bite on his tail or jump on his head.

Just a brief respite from attacking me...

Xiaoxiao earned a stack of brownie points in her favour last night by eagerly sharing Gam's beer. That's right: beer. Cooper's mild ale, to be precise- only 3.5% alcohol. She jumped back whenever a bubble popped under her nose, but otherwise seemed to love the taste. She's the polar opposite of the teetotalling, meat-shunning, grass-eating Feifei, who she nonetheless adores.

She looks gentle enough...

... Most of the time...

... But she doesn't skimp on the teeth and claws during 'playtime'!

Peter Stuyvesant takes a dump on dim fashionistas

On one of our walks a couple of nights ago, Gam and I saw some graffiti in the form of a sticker affixed to a pole:

Smoking: If I wanted to smell that bad, I'd shit my pants.

I got a laugh out of that. It's been forever since I saw any anti-smoking graffiti- it's rare enough to see witty or thoughtful graffiti of any kind.

I was reminded of it this morning when I saw the following article:

A tobacco company's push to sell cigarettes in fashion stores has been denounced as a "cynical" marketing ploy aimed at recruiting a new generation of smokers, sparking calls for a nationwide examination of cigarette retailing laws.

Anti-smoking advocates are outraged that financial incentives have been offered to fashion retailers to stock the Peter Stuyvesant brand in several high-end stores.

[...]

At least six Adelaide outlets, among them a hair salon, have reportedly been identified as stocking Peter Stuyvesant cigarettes.

Classy.

Maybe Adelaide needs its own spate of graffiti:

Peter Stuyvesant cigarettes: If I wanted to smell that bad, I'd shit my pants.

Pop a few of them out and around every store identified as stocking the brand. Embarrass the low-life mercenaries who took Peter Stuyvesant up on their of cash in return for stocking the cigarettes. It's all very well for brainless fashion victims to commit suicide by cancer stick, but not so good for the non-smokers who are forced to inhale their stinking second-hand carcinogens. The fewer outlets stocking cigarettes, the better.

Meanwhile, take a look at how this online tobacco store, with an Australian address, features pictures of the cigarette packets without any of the mandatory health warning labelling. I suspect there is some kind of loophole in Australian law that allows them to do that- either that or they're breaking the law- but if there is such a loophole then steps should be taken to close it and force these online cancer-shops to show the health warnings in their full, gory detail.

The Sole of Freedom

This man is a hero. During George Bush's final attempt to grandstand in front of a pile of Iraqi corpses, Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, an Iraqi-owned station based in Cairo, Egypt, stood up and threw his shoes at W. W ducked, exhibiting quite good reflexes for a man who can't eat pretzels Muntadar shouted: "This is a farewell kiss, you dog!" Security goons jumped on him, at which point he screamed about W killing Iraqis. He was dragged off by said goons, probably to be beaten up for embarrassing the emperor. His news bureau are demanding his release along the lines of freedom of expression and right to protest that the US claims to have brought Iraq. Good luck with that guys. Soles of shoes are considered the ultimate insult in Arab (and Mediterranean) culture. After Saddam Hussein's statue was toppled in Baghdad in April 2003, many onlookers beat the statue's face with their soles. Apparently some Iraqi journalists apologised to W after the incident, which is more than you can say for W who hasn't apologised for anything.

Thanks Muntadar, a lot of people wish they had the chance to do what you did to thank W for invading their country/destroying their global hegemony/losing their city/wiping out their global financial system. The only question is, why are our journalists so tame? Forget throwing a shoe, how about asking some difficult questions now and then and y'know, investigating shit? Pick up some Nancy Drew books or something if you have to. Failing that, throwing shoes would be acceptable too.

Look, but don't touch.

A little while ago I was chatting with one of our resident managers... she informed me that the body corporate committee has implemented a new rule: The pool in the complex is now only allowed to be used by residents. No guests. Technically not even if they're staying at the complex with a resident.

The reason for the BCC nazis implementing this rule? We have a few 'kids' living in the complex- first-year students. They've been doing idiotic things like taking glass bottles (containing alcohol, of course) into the pool area- things that are against the established and fair set of rules that were already in place. In addition, a group of dickheads who happened to know a resident thought it was ok to hop the fence with a bunch of friends and use the pool even though the resident wasn't home. Obviously against the rules, which state that a resident must accompany their guests. Plus, it's a secure complex, so they were trespassing.

So we have a bunch of idiots who occasionally but flagrantly flout the existing rules. The solution of the BCC nazis is to implement even more rules that the dickheads will just ignore but the rest of us will have to abide by.

Gam and I don't have friends over for barbeques very often, but when we do it tends to be in summer when there's nice hot weather. On those occasions it's nice to be able to take a swim with guests. Now if we do that, breaking the rules, the lone BCC member who actually lives here and whose unit (and whose crazy mother's unit) overlooks the pool will get onto the phone, bitch at the resident managers and they will be forced to ask us to remove our guests from the pool area. Because they're good neighbours and friends of ours we can't do what the little tools who've been causing the trouble would do and bitch and mutter and just make sure we invite our friends over to get wasted during the day when the RMs are at work- we'll have to abide by the rule. If my cousin Rach comes to stay again, technically she's not even allowed to come and have a swim with me like she did last time. When my parents and uncle come and stay with us at Christmas, they aren't even allowed to come and have a swim, even though my parents own the frigging unit.

The BCC only consists of 3 members now that I and the only other sensible lady have left. I'm pretty sure she quit because of the same reason I did- because the other 3 were a bunch of bullies who would simply shout over the top of the discussions until the harried person from the body corporate management company simply wrote down whatever they were saying. I know the RMs these days have a policy of just doing as they're told without trying to inject common sense into the discussion because they were tired of being bullied and shouted at, and having it insinuated that they were criminals trying to rip owners off (by, you know, not having 15 quotes done to find the cheapest lawn-mowing service or by refusing to cart buckets of water around the entire complex to save the shrubs when we had a drought). So they probably would have used their proxy votes to help pass the new rule- I'm pretty sure a 3-member body corporate committee couldn't have passed it on their own... unless they just shouted at the body corporate manager, perhaps. Whatever.

It's a lovely complex of units, but it has started to get really stifling. I mean, the lone owner-occupier on the BCC is a bitter spinster who has no friends and certainly never swims, and the other two dickheads are investor-owners who see only dollar signs and don't care if they mislead potential tenants by advertising their units as having a lovely pool... without having a big fat asterisk noting that they'll never be able to invite anyone over to actually use it.

One of the units in the complex is for sale at the moment, with an asking price of $480000. So if someone forks out a cool half a million for a (2br) unit and then finds out they're not 'allowed' to have their friends over to use the pool, are they going to be particularly impressed? Are the prospective tenants who are suckered by the lovely-looking pictures on all the websites into signing up to pay $500 a week to live here going to be particularly happy with being told they're not 'allowed' to have their friends over to use the pool? If it was a pool that was big enough for doing laps in I can understand people being ok with using it solo, but it's a pool built beside a barbeque area that's designed for social occasions. Not big parties, but having a few friends around. Not any more, though- it's just for looking at.

What a stupid rule.

UPDATE: We had a chance to talk to the RMs tonight, and as it turned out it was their idea, albeit one readily agreed to by the BCC. The reason? One single resident- our neighbour, the bong-smoker.

While he's been no trouble to us as a neighbour (apart from when he and his friends smoke cigarettes on the balcony- the occasional bongs are fine, but I despise cigarettes) , he regularly has deadbeat friends visit him. These were the people who jumped the fence to use the pool. When that happens, the RMs can kick them out; under the current rules, as long as he is accompanying them he can have as many friends there as he likes. Every time he has friends over- which is every day, lately- they bring bottles of alcohol into the pool, leave the empties lying around, leave the enclosure littered with rubbish. When Richard (one half of the RMs) kicks them out of the pool for breaking the rules they abuse him. Nice little Brisbane Boys College-educated boys.

If our neighbour was a tenant and not the son of an owner-occupier, the RMs say, he would have been kicked out long ago, but regardless of his behaviour they are unable to do anything. They are hoping that changing the rules will cramp his style to the point where 'Daddy' will sell up and get him another place ('Daddy' lives in St Lucia too- only half a kilometre from this unit complex- he just wanted to get his pothead son out of his hair). The RMs say the rule will be removed as soon as this kid moves out, but it sounds as if they're at their wits' end when it comes to dealing with this kid (and the kind of mess his friends leave in the pool). Apparently the parents/owners have been written to on two or three occasions, but it's the Body Corporate Committee who need to write these letters, and they're always reluctant to do so (despite demanding earlier this year that the RMs write to the parents and make all sorts of legal threats over a fire bell broken by a friend/acquaintance of the son, even though it wasn't their job to do so and they refused the demand). I suppose it's because while they're bullies they're probably pretty gutless... I always assumed that if a resident was fucking up common property then there was some sort of recourse against them regardless of whether they were a tenant or an owner-occupier.

Still, it's hard to see how the RMs are going to police the dickhead friends of our neighbour when they work full time. I mean, they're already breaking just about every pool rule- what's one more going to mean? As Richard said, however, has anyone got a better solution? I did suggest limiting the numbers of guests allowed to use the pool at once, but I gather that the RMs feel that a drastic, and hopefully short-term, solution is most likely to succeed. I think the chances of success are probably in the region of about 1%... I have to say, though, I didn't think it was possible for my opinion of Brisbane Boys College students/graduates/parents to be lowered any further. Last year a couple of friends of mine suffered injuries after being egged by some BBC boys who'd pinched Mummy's car late at night and decided to commit assaults on random people; the number of obnoxious, overly-coiffed housewives in oversized luxury 4WDs creating havoc in traffic/nearly running us over and leaving us cursing as their 'BBC Rowing'-bumper-stickered boot fades into the distance... it's fair to say I would never send any son of ours to that place. But that the little shits are prepared to come to someone else's home (which is what this unit complex is), drink alcohol and leave litter all around the pool area, and then abuse the resident managers for kicking them out- especially if they've broken into the place by jumping the fence... and their fellow BBC-educated son-of-a-rich-daddy friend continues to invite them over, well... it doesn't say a lot for the school or the parents who raised these kids.

The RMs now say that the rule will be sensibly enforced. So if a resident has a guest or two to stay and they use the pool according to the rules, a blind eye will be turned. Good news, I suppose, but it would be even better news if the rule were lifted. I just don't see how it's going to be effective against the kind of dickheads whose presence it was implemented to combat. I guess Gam and I will have a chance to see for ourselves- we'll be in charge of the complex while the RMs are away over Christmas, so if our neighbour's dickhead friends show up and use the pool, we'll be responsible for kicking them out.

Bjelke-Petersen expelled Fred Hollows from Queensland

'Sir' Joh Bjelke-Petersen. The man for whom our former Premier, Peter Beattie, thought it was a good idea to give a taxpayer-funded state funeral and build a memorial statue as an homage. From the Brisbane Times:

The book, Beyond Sandy Blight, launched in Canberra last week, gives an inside account of how, in the 1970s, the then-Queensland premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen had Professor Hollows and his team expelled from the state.


Their crime? They were helping Aborigines and Torres Strait islanders get on the electoral roll so they could vote.

'Baby-swinging' video charge farce

Hearing the Queensland Police defend their ridiculous prosecution (persecution) of some hapless old dude who re-posted a YouTube 'baby-swinging' video on Liveleak made me eager for the day when they bust down the set of Australia's Funniest Home Videos and arrest the whole crew while carrying out raids on the houses of the people who send in the 'child abuse' videos that are broadcast every Saturday evening.

After all, if we can arrest a guy who watched and disseminated a video in which a baby is swung around vigourously by its circus-performer father/family member and then shown laughing and smiling after the event, why can't we arrest and prosecute the deadbeats who think it's funny to continue filming while their child, clearly in a dangerous situation, toddles obliviously toward an accident in which they are injured? Or those who continue filming because they derive amusement and pleasure from watching their own children punch each other in the nose, wailing in distress afterwards? If we're talking the 'appearance' of child abuse- for which the Queensland Police seems to have a fairly loose set of criteria, then 90% of the videos featuring children that are screened by the Funniest Home Videos program must constitute a criminal offence. Look out, though- the Queensland Police say it's a crime to even watch the baby-swinging video on YouTube, so I guess that means that sooner or later they'll be busting down the doors of anyone who's ever had the misfortune to encounter Funniest Home Videos on their television screen on a Saturday night.

The baby-swinging video not feature any child who "is, or appears to be, a victim of torture, cruelty or physical abuse". The laws used to arrest Mr Illingworth were created to combat paedophiles. It appears that no evidence whatsoever of any such material was found in Mr Illingworth's possession and the Queensland Police are barking up the wrong tree, only unwilling to admit it.

Let's hope we get a judge with an ounce of common sense who will throw the matter out of court and order the Queensland Police to issue an apology and compensation to the guy. Give the idiots enough of a spanking that they won't pursue any more ridiculous prosecutions of individuals in an exercise borne of frustration when they are unable to find any real paedophiles to prosecute.

Scots College students are mindless idiots- Principal

It's all Chris Lilley's fault!

Faced with a scandal in which students from the expensive Sydney private boys' school started up a Facebook group full of anti-semitic slurs, the school's principal has absolved his boys of responsibility, instead blaming TV for their behaviour. That's right: school principal Dr Ian Lambert has blamed Summer Heights High and South Park for messing up kids' moral boundaries.

Funnily enough, I enjoyed South Park when I was in high school but I never saw the humour in making racist slurs. And Summer Heights High is a scarily accurate reflection of Australian high schools as well as a satire, not a vehicle for the manipulation of students' minds so that they suddenly start dreaming up racist, offensive Facebook groups to create.

I think Dr Lambert needs to find another scapegoat. I suggest he'd be best off looking critically at the school's culture and the attitudes of the parents who send their kids there. Also, perhaps Dr Lambert himself needs a few lessons in personal responsibility, if only so he can pass those on to his students- it's an area in which the school is clearly deficient.

Bah Humbug!

Newspoll reveals that Mr Rudd's rating as better PM has increased three points from 63 to 66 per cent.

Mr Turnbull's rating has dropped by two points from 21 per cent to19 per cent, with fewer than one in five voters surveyed preferring his leadership. This is his worst performance against Mr Rudd since becoming Opposition Leader in September.

Opposition Orifice

Where Sarah graduates but fails to cut uni's apron strings...

Today's the day I officially become a PhD student. I'm actually at home because the place where I work is being painted, so I'm a scruffy PhD student in boxer shorts and a cardigan. Truthfully, I felt like a bit of a fraud signing up for this prior to knowing the marks awarded for my thesis... I had this secret fear that I would flunk out- I kind of pulled it all together in the last couple of minutes before deadline, after all.

I checked my email a couple of minutes ago and almost vomited up my coffee when I saw a 'grade update notification' email in my inbox... that's how nervous I was.

As it turns out, I got a distinction for my thesis! Not as good as the HD I got last semester, but enough to get me first class honours.

My PhD project centres on feeding/nutrition and growth in prematurely-born children. It wasn't something I came up with myself, and I can't say it grabbed my attention at first. I've already managed to come up with what appears to be an entirely original angle on the topic, however, and the more I read about the subject, the more interested I become.

Interesting fact: my co-supervisor is a speech pathologist who graduated from UQ. For reasons probably obvious to our regular readers, that fact made me very wary of taking on the project, but I was mightily reassured to read in her thesis that her mentor throughout that degree was the person Gam described as one of the few really good lecturers/clinical educators he had. I have a very good impression of my co-supervisor so far; my main supervisor will be the same guy who supervised me throughout my honours year.

So, um, that would make them terrorists, right?

From the New York Times website:

TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran will give a "tooth-breaking" response to a Sunni Muslim rebel group which has killed 16 policemen it abducted in June, a senior official said in comments broadcast on Saturday.

The official IRNA news agency reported on Thursday that all the seized police had been killed, after they were taken hostage six months ago from a checkpoint in the town of Saravan in Sistan-Baluchestan province bordering Pakistan.

Shi'ite-dominated Iran says the rebel Jundollah (God's Soldiers) group, which demanded that Iranian authorities release 200 of its jailed members, has links with al Qaeda.

Now, picture the same thing happening here in Australia- a group of armed, religious militants kidnap and murder 16 policemen. Would we refer to them as a rebel group?

Picture the same thing happening in Iraq, but instead of policemen being kidnapped and killed it is 16 US soldiers, foreigners who took part in an invasion of the country. Even in those circumstances, do you think the Western media would be referring to the killers as 'rebels'?

There is a massive double standard at play.

The sad story of Sarah's tomatoes

The green you see here is largely from the basil plants...

They were doing so well. Lush green foliage followed by bright yellow flowers and tiny green fruit. Then we came back from Yamba 3 weeks ago and one of the plants wasn't there any more. At first I thought they had all been blown over by the storm, but in fact all the foliage on one plant had died, leaving only the tiny fruit. I noticed that the leaves on another of the plants were wilting, for no apparent reason. The next day, they had started to die off.

Now, there are no leaves, or almost no leaves; one of the plants that was direly affected has put up a fight and stuck out a small bunch of leaves. All but the tiniest of the green fruit seem to have survived the disease, and some are now ripening. I don't know how they'll taste, mind.

I think it's fusarium wilt, a kind of fungus, but I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it affected my tomatoes last time I tried to grow them too. My Uncle Richard, a horticulturalist, is coming up with Mum and Dad for Christmas this year, so I'm hoping he'll have some advice for me. Too late to save these babies, however...

Meanwhile, check out my parsley plants. All of them were planted at the same time, though you wouldn't believe it to look at them. Two are even in the same pot, yet one has taken off (or is at least looking like a proper plant- given I planted them 2 months ago I would actually expect it to be bigger!) and the other one... well, it's not much to look at. It's the strangest thing:

Parsley plant 1.

Parsley plant 2.

Actually, come to think of it, I have the same phenomenon with the strawberries- one 'giant' and several ridiculously small plants. Except Feifei took care of the ridiculously small ones by manoeuvering himself into the pot, digging a hole and crapping in there... my incy-wincy strawberry plants are lost forever!

Would you believe the tiny chilli plants in the parsley pot were planted at the same time as the parsley? They've finally developed some green and two tiny 'proper' leaves.. I'm starting to think it's because even the 'quality' potting mix that does such a good job for the pak choy, lettuce etc is nearly all woodchips. I mean, it couldn't be that I'm such a brown-thumb (opposite of a green thumb- the kiss of death for plants!), after all.



The other parsley plants, in another pot, are just so woeful I'm surprised they're even alive.

The 'if it looks this bad can it really still be alive?' parsley plant- there are about 4 others in this pot, all the same size.

Of all the vegetables I've planted, I'd say the pak choy was the best value- like the Magic Pudding in that cut'n'come again sense. Lately it's been under seige from a particularly voracious brand of caterpillar- ugly ones, fortunately, that I don't feel guilty about killing- and those horrid fluffy-looking white sap-sucking things... not scale insects, because they have little legs and move around... their name escapes me. Those are squashable and don't do so much damage- the caterpillars, however, are a plague. It seems they are all laid as eggs in a cluster, and they then eat their way through the first leaf- thankfully this causes visible but only localised damage at a very early stage in their life cycle, and my solution has been to simply cut off the leaf, put it in a bowl and pour boiling water on it, killing them instantly.

Lettuce going to seed.

If I don't see them right away, they massacre the plant, and it can be hard to see them as the eggs tend to be laid on the inner leaves, making the caterpillars and the damage they cause less visible at first. Now I know what to look for I seem to have put a stop to it- and best of all, despite repeated insect attacks, I'm still getting tasty, fresh pak choy to eat. Fan-bloody-tastic.

Xiaoxiao, 3 weeks on

We've had Xiaoxiao for 3 weeks now. That makes her either 11 weeks old or 9 weeks old, depending on whether we take the age that we were given by the pound or the age that we were given by the vet, respectively. She's growing really well, but unfortunately still untrustworthy when it comes to her toileting issues- or, rather, issue: thinking it's ok to pee on the bed.

She hasn't peed on our bed again (i.e. for exactly one week- seems like a lifetime!), largely because we've been training her not to come into our bedroom (and locking her in the bathroom at nights). She did, however, pee on my cousin's bed on Monday when she came to stay. Not, as you might expect, when we went out for the entire day and forgot to shut the door to the study, where Rach was sleeping, but after we got home and hopped in the pool and Gam was in the study, at the computer. So clearly we haven't yet managed to get things straight in that department. She learned very quickly (with the help of 'Mr Squirty' the spray-bottle) that she is not supposed to go in the bedroom; she occasionally forgets and chases a toy (or Feifei) in there, or follows me in when I go out to the back balcony, but a loud handclap and/or raised voice is all it now takes to get her out. I would just love not to have to lock her up at night, though.

We have had an unforseen issue arise as a result of adopting Xiaoxiao, and that's our resident managers... Hmm. Not them, as such (they have a cat of their own), but their concerns about the body corporate rules- a few years ago, either shortly before or after we got Feifei, they arbitrarily implemented a much less pet-friendly rule than had previously been in place. I thought it was that tenants were no longer allowed to own pets, while owner-residents could... and while I'm obviously not an owner, I'm not technically a tenant either, and my parents own the unit. Not that they know about Xiaoxiao yet *ahem* but I had certainly planned to deal with that matter because they are coming here for Christmas. Anyway, I gather that the RMs kind of hate having to turn away some prospective tenants who own a pet, and it makes it more difficult because we have Feifei, who is out and about during the day, and they have their old cat, Thomasina. I also know they've previously turned a blind eye to one young woman's cat- she was a good tenant, as are many pet owners. I suppose having a kitten makes it hard for them to explain away the no pets rule as being brought in after some pets were already given permission to be here?

Our RMs are good friends and neighbours, but the body corporate committee consists only of 3 bullies/arseholes since I and the only other sane member (an owner, not a resident) left, and maybe they're worried that they'll cop it if one of them finds out about Xiaoxiao. To be honest, I hadn't even considered asking the BCC to 'register' Xiaoxiao because they are the sort of people who seem to just love an excuse to make other peoples' lives miserable and would probably jump at the chance to tell me to get rid of her. I think the RMs would turn a blind eye if I asked them, but if they do and aren't happy about it then my parents are going to be much less happy about it...

Soooo... that's a lot more pressure than the 'how do I introduce Xiaoxiao to Mum and Dad?' scenario I figured would be my main concern... Still, I'm not getting rid of her- she's part of our family now. And a bloody good motivation to save to buy a house if there ever was one. So we have a cat- now two cats. Desexed, microchipped, well cared-for. I fail to see how that can be the body corporate commitee's business unless the cats start damaging common property or disturbing neighbours. There's a lot to be said for not having a body corporate committee looming over you- it's just a shame that housing prices are so high it's going to take us an inordinate amount of time to get the hell out of here. Meanwhile, Xiaoxiao is apparently an illegal alien.

Pollies crying poor: please just fuck off to the private sector!

Just like the used-car salesman has the customer's best interests at heart...

On the day before Remuneration Tribunal president John Conde, supported by former Liberal MP Bruce Baird, came out and claimed, incredibly, that politicians are underpaid, this article appeared in the Herald Sun. It's a pretty good illustration of everything that is wrong with what Conde and Baird are claiming, namely that 'politicians' salaries are not high enough to attract talented people into Parliament':

The former treasurer, moonlighting this week as a World Bank adviser, will have been absent for 13 sitting days when Parliament rises tomorrow.

He has also failed to make a parliamentary speech, ask a question of a minister, or serve on a committee since finding himself in Opposition.

His only contributions to the parliamentary debate were nine interjections from the back bench, picked up by Hansard reporters.

Despite claiming his heart is still in the job, the one-time Liberal leadership aspirant has done little this year other than write his memoirs.

Mr Costello is drawing two pay cheques - a $127,000 taxpayer-funded salary and fees as a consultant to the World Bank's anti-corruption committee.

He refused to say exactly what the World Bank was paying him, but said the level of remuneration was "small".

Mr Costello has taken more days off from Parliament this year than almost every other MP [...] But even when in the House, the nation's longest-serving treasurer rarely contributes these days [...] According to Hansard, Mr Costello asked only two questions in 2008, both of Speaker Harry Jenkins, making trivial political points.

See, one crucial- and, I would have thought, painfully obvious- fact that John Conde has missed in his hurried conclusion that our pollies are woefully underpaid is that unlike in a normal job, where someone continually bums around and doesn't do what they get paid to do and consequently gets booted to the kerb, we can't sack the lazy little cunts until up to 3 years later! And, sometimes, for some inexplicable reason, the 'boss', i.e. the electorate, neglects to sack the undeserving little shits at all. Which explains the phenomenon of safe seats, and why politicians like Peter Costello can have such long political careers.

It's rather hard not to conclude outright that John Conde is an idiot- that is, unless, he has an agenda in recommending something so patently stupid. Perhaps he happens to be buddies with a bunch of the greedy breed of politicians who think they're underpaid. Maybe Tony Abbott is a pal?

As for Bruce Baird, he maintained some level of credibility on the issue of refugees, but he's really showing the rarefied circles he moves in with the following comment:

"Quite often I talk to young people who say, 'Look, I just can't afford it, mate; the salaries are too low. I've got to look after my family, pay off the mortgage'.

Young people? Who think a $130,000-$219,179 (single!) salary is 'too low' to pay a mortgage? A mortgage where, exactly? I know Bruce Baird lives on Sydney's North Shore, but geez. Why not just say you want more arsehole lawyers and merchant bankers in parliament? Talent, good motivation and intelligence are not necessarily rewarded with high salaries in many sectors- one only has to look at the existence of good teachers, scientists, allied health professionals and even doctors to see that.

All that raising the salaries of politicians beyond their already high levels would achieve is a greater scramble among the kind of ambitious, self-serving pricks who would no longer have to decide whether they wanted to be super-rich or super-powerful. John Conde and Bruce Baird would have it all handed to the scumbags on a plate.

If Julie Bishop spent less time under the hair-dryer...

This last week has been most enjoyable in terms of media coverage of Julie Bishop- surprisingly, most of it from The Australian, a.k.a the Opposition Orifice. Peter van Onselen, who I always figured for a bit of a Liberal Party cocksucker, has been exacting some well-deserved revenge on Julie Bishop for plagiarising an entire section that she contributed to his recently released book. Er, not that she plagiarised it- she had a staffer thrown under the bus 'own up' to the plagiarism.

Just in case you missed the fun, here's a choice selection of articles and quotes:

Peter van Onselen is obsessed with me!!

Peter van Onselen's stinging opinion piece: "Each minister, including the Prime Minister, who responds to her questions begins by asking if she drafted the question herself."

No pressure to step aside?: "Senior colleagues were forced to defend the Liberal deputy leader yesterday in the face of mockery from the Government over plagiarism claims and reports of concerns within her own party over her performance."



Julie Bishop is Catwoman!: Man, she has managed to get herself into a catfight with journalists at The Australian. Not a clever move- if Rupert Murdoch won't have her, who will?

Malcolm 'silvertail' Turnbull has come riding to Bishop's defence, presumably because this is all making her look, well, about as competent as she really is. His response? Julia Gillard is a meanie!

Linux users love Maeve too, SBS!

Tonight was the first episode of the third season of Food Safari. Only, thanks to the fact that we hardly ever turn on the TV these days due to a dearth of decent programming, I forgot it was on. 'No worries!', promises SBS:

Watch online! Missed it on TV? Don't worry, you can see the entire episode of South American Food Safari right here.

Hooray!.... Oh.

What it should have said was:

Watch online! Missed it on TV? Don't worry, you can see the entire episode of South American Food Safari right here... as long as you're not a Linux user. If you are, don't bother- we don't give a stuff about you!

How do I know they don't care, even before they've responded to my email informing them of the problem? Well, Gam emailed them months ago to complain about the same thing, only with regard to the World Game. Let's just say they're not exactly on the ball with this one.

I wouldn't have cared if it was any other show, but Food Safari is not to be missed- it's such a good show.

Charlatans! Hmph!

What defines someone as a 'nutrition researcher'?

I asked myself this question after encountering this piece on the SMH website.

Initially, I went to the herdshare.com site because I thought the concept of having a 'share' in a cow and receiving a share of the raw milk that the cow produced was a fascinating one. I was curious to see whether Brisbane customers would be able to partake of the scheme.

Then I thought- a 'nutrition researcher' in Byron Bay? There's no university in Byron Bay where nutrition research would take place, right? When I think of Byron Bay, I think... hippies (and rich Sydney people driving up real estate prices). When I think of raw milk, I think... hippies... hang on... so who is this Joanne Hay, who 'journalist' Samantha Wright of the Sydney Morning Herald calls a 'nutrition researcher'?

Joanne Hay is:

Editor of Nourished Magazine, Chief Nourisher and Mother of three is very grateful to live in Byron Bay and be able to share all she has learned about Nourishment. She has trained as an Acupuncturist (unfinished), Kinesiologist (finished) and parent (never finished). She serves the Weston A Price Foundation as a chapter leader.

Soooo that may make Joanne Hay an Editor, a Kinesiologist (a what?), possibly even an Acupuncturist. Someone with an interest in nutrition, sure. But a nutrition researcher? No, not really. I suppose I'm technically a nutrition researcher, and all the people I work with are nutrition researchers. But by SMH journalist Samantha Wright's definition of 'nutrition researcher', every single person who read Nourished magazine would be a nutrition researcher.

I'm not bagging Joanne Hay, her beliefs (I don't know enough to make comment) or her raw milk shares scheme (which sounds kind of cool- I'm a bit iffy on the food safety aspects of it, but I'd have to look into whether there was any recent research literature on the subject and whether the authors of said literature had any particular barrel to push), but geez it annoys me to see people with questionable credentials promoted as credible authorities on matters pertaining to diet and health. Bleh.

Not again?!

As if last summer wasn't bad enough, we're apparently up for another one:

A WET Queensland summer is tipped, with forecasters expecting above-average rainfall and destructive cyclones likely following the recent wild weather.

Grrrrrrrr.

Another reason why the Gold Coast sucks

I don't get it- do these idiots really believe that because I'm white and Australian that I'm one of them?

The Gold Coast: It's full of bogans, we all know that. It should therefore be no surprise that it's full of bigots, too.

PROTESTERS have swarmed the Gold Coast City Council headquarters, and with blaring rock anthems vented anger over a planned Muslim school.
Almost 200 residents turned out for the demonstration, draped in Australian flags and shouting pro-Aussie slogans while Australian rock classics such as Down Under and Great Southern Land boomed across the parkland.

The Australian International Islamic College, planned for Carrara, has raised the ire of residents who fear it will lead to the local Muslim population withdrawing from the rest of the community.

Uh, yeah, they're worried about losing their muslim friends...

Resident's spokesman Tony Doherty said Muslim schools did not encourage multiculturalism.

"It's segregation, not integration," he said.

"They're not trying to integrate into the rest of society.

"Since we have started protesting against this our churches have been covered in hate-filled graffiti."

He denied it was hypocritical to oppose Muslim and not Christian schools.

"Catholics aren't a different culture," he said. "They are the same as us."

What Dickhead doesn't realise is that, early in Australia's history, Catholics were discriminated against too. What's more is that the 'culture' in Catholic schools is somewhat different to that of Australian public schools- public school students aren't forced to attend mass, for one (once a term, or once a year, I can't remember- not that it matters). There are a few Jewish schools in Australia too- I imagine their 'culture' is also rather different, however I can't imagine a plan for a Jewish school raising this much of an outcry among Gold Coast bogans.

When we stayed at Coolangatta I perused a promotional book of the Gold Coast that was in our hotel room. It spoke of the local aboriginal people being 'eased from their land'. Cultural sensitivity and acceptance has never been a strong point of the Gold Coast. I feel sorry for any non-bogan who has to live there.