'The Wedge'- whose arse was that pulled from?

Comedy Inc.

I really enjoyed Comedy Inc last season, but I wasn't sure when it was scheduled to return. We tuned in for Channel 10's 'The Wedge' at 8.30pm last night and it was crap. Didn't even manage to elicit a snigger. Switched off after watching some documentary on SBS, not realising that Comedy Inc was scheduled for 10.30pm. Nooooo!!! Then I read in the SMH' Entertainment Blog that Comedy Inc pulled hardly any viewers. That's because it wasn't advertised enough, you jerks at Channel 9! Now I bet the bastards pull it or move it to an even less-favourable time slot because it's not garnering a big enough audience. Grrrr.

Patrick and the Humiliation of Amir Tofangsazan

Amir Tofangsazan: £375 buys humiliation on a worldwide scale.

Patrick has a blog!

His third post is pure gold. I wanted to join in the worldwide humiliation of the sucker in question. Go here to find out more. And do read the comments page, the guy's attempts to assume different aliases to defend himself (and call the site's creator 'fraudulet' and a 'convicted peodofile') are bloody hilarious.

It's a bare-arsed public spanking for Amir Tofangsazan, and didn't he deserve it.

Goodbye and Good Riddance to the Nats

This is in response to Lisa's question in the comments section in the previous post.

The National Party has been on its way out for some time. For some reason Queensland is a National Party stronghold, as evidenced by the fact that up until now they have formed the official opposition, ahead of the weaker Queensland Liberals.

Nationally, though, the Nats are dead in the water. They're piggybacking on the Liberals and reliant on a dwindling bunch of extremely safe seats to maintain relevance. When I was 17 and the 2001 election was a matter of months away, eventually to fall on my 18th birthday, I was reading up on the history of the seat of Lyne, held by Mark Vaile. I was horrified to see that it had been held by the National Party by an extremely large margin since its inception. Lyne was won that election by Mark Vaile again, of course; One Nation also figured prominently in the voting for Lyne, receiving its second-highest share of the vote of anywhere in Australia. Tells you something about people who always vote National, I reckon.

Anyway, if this lasts it's still a bloody joke. The reality is that the Nats overall are being swallowed up by the Liberals. It's just a coalition with a different name, not a different reality. I think Mark Vaile is just pissing his pants at the prospect of losing his position as Deputy PM if the same thing were to ever happen federally.

UPDATE: So it turns out that Lawrence and Bob's 'rock solid' proposition dissolved into a little blob of jelly once the fierce glare of the national branch was cast upon it. Sure they can still stand up to Peter Beattie, sure they can.

Gay pride, Nazis and Childcare

Perhaps you think this would be better for the children, Mr Iemma?

Quelle horreur! A Sydney childcare centre is reading story books featuring gay families to the children in its care! How dare they interfere with the careful indoctrination of children with their parents' bigotry?

Perhaps Mr Iemma also ought to enquire as to whether any of the books read to children might also feature parents of different colours, or for that matter whether the offspring of such parents are allowed to attend the daycare centre. After all, given the significant proportion of the community that oppose interracial marriage, shouldn't it be up to the parents to decide what their children should think of such peers, rather than the children being able to see for themselves that they are in fact no different? Why stop at one form of bigotry?

"If parents feel particularly strongly about educating children on these issues there is plenty of scope for them to do so at home where they run no risk of offending other parents who may old opposing views and who may not be able to find childcare elsewhere."

Bigots deserve to be offended.

At least we're one or two steps ahead of the Russians, though. When a gay pride parade was held in Moscow, Orthodox 'Christians' banded together with neo-Nazis to violently assault the people taking part. Police then arrested, wait for it, the bleeding and battered gay rights activists. Not the neo-nazis (who are also responsible for a huge spate of race-murders and violence in Russia), nor the 'Christians', but the people towards whom the violence was directed.

*My perennial absent-mindedness meant that I hit 'publish' instead of 'save as draft' for the notes I made of the web addresses of the articles referred to in this blog. Apologies for the scruffy appearance of the resultant post until I discovered and fixed it :)

Reparative Therapy for Repentant Heterosexuals

I will say 'no!' to deviant thoughts!

If you've come to terms with your problem and decided to get help, good for you. Arthur Vandelay's blog has a questionnaire that will get you started down the path to redemption:

Heterosexual Questionnaire

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

When and how did you decide that you were a heterosexual?

Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay or lesbian lover?

To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did he or she react?

Why do you heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into your life-style?

Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Why can't you just be what you are and keep quiet about it?

Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems that they'd face?

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you?

Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality, and fail to develop you natural, healthy homosexual potential?

There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

In Need of an Ass-Whoopin'

Gam and I went to see X-Men III today at the Southbank Cinemas. I've praised Southbank Cinemas in previous posts for their extremely low prices; in the cinema a message is displayed requesting that patrons take their rubbish with them when they leave the cinema and place it in the bins provided, as this helps to keep their costs down. When there's a full house for the IMAX screen they have a staff member come in and request that people move up to fill in the gaps in the rows of seats, and also remind people about removing their rubbish. Mostly people seem to do as asked. Except when the movie screening happens to be popular with under-15s, like today's X-Men III.

The cinema was just like any other cinema afterwards: a cesspit. The kids in the row behind us had left popcorn all over the floor and seats, and left their 'slushy' cups in the cup-holders. When you pay $15 (or $10 as a student) at another cinema you would almost feel justified in leaving your rubbish behind. I never have, of course, but for that amount of money you feel like you should expect some kind of service. But when we're paying $5.70 to see a movie? That's almost as cheap as renting a new-release DVD. Personally I'm bloody grateful for the low prices because we would never fork over $10 each to see a movie on the big screen.

But the little punks who leave their rubbish behind in the cinema for cleaners to pick up obviously don't mind if the cinema prices go up, because Mummy and Daddy are forking over the money, and there's obviously more where that came from. Probably half the audience in today's screening were in the 12-15 age group, all of them came in small groups, and all the ones that I saw had no adult supervision. Given their behaviour I should think they probably have no adult supervision at home, either.

Being 22, I feel I'm a bit young to be whinging about 'young people today'. And besides that, young people today aren't all bad. What I think is that there are a lot of parents out there who are sorely in need of some compulsory classes on responsible parenting. Teaching your kids good manners and a basic sense of social responsibility should be mandatory.

X-Men III was pretty entertaining, by the way, but I don't think it compares with the previous two. I liked them a lot better.

Masturbation

TAFE now offers courses in fleshlight-arrangment

One of history's best inventions, not quite ranking with flush toilets and running water, but up with the best nonetheless. In my random blog-surfing I found a rather amusing yet informative post (with nice pictures, no nudie ones) on the blog called 'The Book Bitches'. This being the second time I've chanced across it in my random blog-surfing I figured that this time it must be fate and it's high time V-TAY had a post on masturbation instead of just wankers.

Garbage Collectors to Lose Benefits Under WorkChoices

This sounds incredibly lame, I know, but when I was a kid one of the week's highlights was watching the garbage truck come by. It looked like a giant toy, and it always had two guys who I thought had the most exciting job in the world, because they got to cling onto the back of the garbage truck and ride along, picking up the bins and emptying them into the back.

Then we got the automated truck. It was pretty cool at first because it could pick up the bins, but it didn't have the excitement factor of two guys riding on the back.

Now I'm a little bit older I don't think being a garbo would be such a hot job, even if I got to ride on the back of the truck. Early starts and stinky garbage aren't what I'm looking for in a job. I'm very grateful for the guys that do it, though; if I'm anything like the average Australian, without the garbage guys I would have 2 tonnes a year of rubbish piling up around me. Make that four tonnes, seeing as I live in a two-person household. Greek garbos showed Athens just how life would be without them when they went on strike earlier this year.

So it figures that I don't particularly fancy the idea of using the Howard government's new 'WorkChoices' to screw over Australian garbage collectors. We need those guys more than we know. Let's not piss them off.

The Day I Wore a Pineapple

Not quite like this...

I had to do a group presentation on tinned pineapple for one of my subjects yesterday. Public speaking has always petrified me, literally. Public anything, actually. Usually I memorise whatever I'm supposed to do and reel it off on autopilot, winding up as something of a jelly-legged wreck afterwards.

Yesterday a guy in my group decided it would be a good idea if we all did the presentation while wearing giant paper pineapples on our heads. I hadn't memorised my section due to lack of preparation, but figured I could look up from my papers often enough not to lose a lot of marks for lacking eye contact with the audience. Funnily enough everything went fine, giant pineapple and all. I scarcely needed my notes. Perhaps the ultimate compliment we received from our lecturers was that they'd been hearing the same pre-set presentation topics for years and yet we managed to include information that they hadn't heard before, which I thought was really nice. Fancy having to listen to a presentation on tinned pineapple every year- I thought the subject was a bit of a yawn, and I'd never encountered it before.

So if imagining your audience in their underwear doesn't aid you when it comes to speaking in public, perhaps wearing something stupid on your head will.

Feifei doesn't think much of the pineapple.

Playboy Jokes of the Month

A journalist assigned to her paper's Jerusalem bureau rented an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looked out, she saw the same old jewish man praying. Curious, the journalist went downstairs and introduced herself to the man.

"You come every day to the wall," she said. "How long have you been doing this? What are you praying for?"

The old man replied, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I come to pray for world peace and the brotherhood of man. In the afternoon I come back and pray for the eradication of famine and disease from the earth."

The journalist was touched. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asked.

The old man looked at her sadly and said, "Like I'm talking to a wall".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A father and his son were at the zoo. When they came to the elephant exhibit the boy asked, "What's that hanging down from the elephant?"

The father replied, "That's his penis, son."

The boy said, "Last week Mommy told me that was nothing."

"Well, son," replied his father, "remember that your mother has been spoiled."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A group of cowboys were out on the range, branding some cattle. While they were away the new cook saw a sheep tied to a post. Thinking it was for the night's meal, he slaughtered the animal and cooked it.

Later on, after dinner, all the cowboys were sulking and ignoring the cook. He pulled one aside and asked, "Did I screw up the cooking?"

"No," the cowboy replied, "You cooked up the screwing."

Nothing to See Here, Folks...

Of course Indonesia would be preventing the UN High Commission for Refugees from entering West Papua! There are no refugees in Papua! What could the UNHCR possibly hope to gain from visiting? Indonesia feels that the request to visit the province is just so absurd that they do not feel any need to prove that they are not in fact murdering and persecuting people for trivial offences such as raising a flag. Apparently the jail term awarded to the Indonesian soldiers who murdered independence leader Theys Elway ('the actions of a few individuals', I'm sure) was between two and three and a half years. See, justice has a place in West Papua, just like in any civilised society: you murder a man, you get two years in jail. You raise a flag, you get 15 years in jail. A fair go for all!

Move along, UNHCR, there's nothing to see in West Papua, nothing at all...

Bugger! Uncle Tobys is no longer Aussie!

It's getting harder to find an Aussie brand

Goodman Fielder has just sold Uncle Tobys to Nestle. I don't like Nestle. I do buy their products occasionally; I've mentioned my occasional chico cravings before, but I am a regular buyer of Uncle Tobys rolled oats and 'Bran Plus', among other things, and I refuse to become a regular consumer of their products. I also like Milo and Nestle's malted milk better than the other equivalent products on the market, but I started buying Ovaltine instead, and I'm on my way to figuring out how to make my own malted milk powder.

I expected that with the number of brands worldwide that Nestle own I might inadvertantly be contributing to their coffers. I was feeling pretty good reading the list of Nestle-owned brands right until I got to the bottom and saw Friskies cat food listed. Damn. Our cat eats pretty much only biscuits, and Friskies indoor-cat variety is the only brand we've tried him on where he won't selectively leave the green ones in his bowl, so it's kind of impractical to stop buying them, at least as long as we're poor and/or have only one cat. If we ever get another cat it hopefully won't be so damn picky and will eat Feifei's left-over 'vegetables'. You'd think a cat whose second-favourite food is grass would enjoy the vegie-flavoured biscuits...

Nonetheless, I'm at least going to find another brand of rolled oats and bran to buy, at least until they're all sold overseas.

Insight: 'SuperBrats'

Tonight's Insight is on 'SuperBrats'. When I saw that a family featured on the show lived in South West Rocks- a beautiful beach town near where I grew up- I thought 'oh how nice'. South West Rocks would be a great place to bring up kids.

The problem with that family is that they're not bringing up the kids, and with all three kids behaving badly and so close in age it's no wonder.

I often catch at least some of the show Super Nanny on Channel 9 on Friday evenings, and one thing the various parents on that show have in common is that they have 3 or 4 kids who are very close in age. I've said it before and I'll say it again: bloody well use contraception! If people are going to have kids they should be sure they're doing a good job with the first one before they decide to squeeze out the second. Don't just keep breeding until you realise "Oh shit, I have a problem. No, wait, I have 3 problems!"

A child psychologist featured on the show just put it very nicely indeed: "Parents have got a role to play and they're not bloody playing it".

The children in the family featured early in the show were filmed in the supermarket throwing items on the floor, opening packets in the trolley and throwing tantrums. Undoubtedly this was a bad day and the people filming probably asked the mother not to intervene too much in order that they might obtain some good footage, but one thing that was drummed into me since as far back as I can remember when my parents took my brother and I shopping was the 'look but don't touch' rule. It applied in every single store. I also remember us trying to break that rule, but breaking the rule ineviteably consisted of sneaking a gentle poke or stroke of a particularly enticing item. If we'd pulled items off shelves and thrown them on the floor I'm quite sure we would have been disciplined with a short, sharp smack.

I was no angel when I was little. My mum told me once that when we were toddlers, on one occasion during communion at church my brother and I once took it upon ourselves to break loose and chase each other around the altar. We probably got taken outside for a smack for that. When we were older I remember my brother and I mucking up horribly in Sunday school. Our business was tormenting the teachers rather than throwing tantrums, but I am quite sure we caused those nice ladies some terrible stress on their 'day of rest'.

An incident I remember very vaguely is that when I was around two years old and my parents were out, my grandmother was nursing my then baby brother on the front verandah of our home. I somehow managed to shut and lock the door. I then got a biro and scribbled all over the wallpaper in the hallway, before developing a guilty conscience and tearing the affected wallpaper off the wall. While my grandmother pleaded with me to open the door I would reply "not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" Then Dad arrived home. With a key. It was getting dark, I think, and he was greeted by my grandmother "Sarah won't let me in!". Dad came in the back door while I was busy guarding the front. I don't remember that bit, and I don't remember what came after, but Dad didn't give me a smack. We negotiated. I had to be good for a whole week. If I did another naughty thing that week I would get two smacks. Apparently I was good and got no smack.

The 'naughty corner' technique on Super Nanny is bullshit, if you ask me. On one particular show the parents spent an entire hour running back and forth hauling their reluctant child back to the naughty chair, from which it would run each time. It should never take an entire hour to get a point across. I think when that amount of time has passed, at least with very young children, the point of the disciplinary message has passed. Not only that, most parents could not spend an hour disciplining every single misdemeanour of a naughty child.

I am not a huge fan of smacking, either. I remember being aghast when my second-cousin, who was holidaying with my great aunt and uncle told me that my great aunt had used an electrical cord to beat the backside of her sister as punishment for some misdeed. My parents, or at least Mum, always threatened 'The Wooden Spoon'. I'm not entirely sure if she ever used it.

On the other hand I hesitate to say that I would never smack any child that Gam and I might one day have, because there may be situations where it's appropriate. I don't believe that every instance in which my brother and I (and we were usually in it together, whatever 'it' was) was necessarily appropriate, but I do know we were smacked very rarely.

One thing I'm determined to do is not have kids until either Gam or I have a good enough job where one of us can afford to stay home for the first few years, or if we both have part time jobs and are able to split parenting with work. I would rather not have kids at all than have kids with effectively part-time parents. I was luckier than most in that my parents both worked from home.

The other thing I'm determined to do is not have a second child until we're sure we're doing a good job raising the first one. We are not going to bite off more than we can chew.

Sarah Loves Adblock

I'm not exactly sure when I first started noticing the godawful glamour photos of some heavily made up chick under the heading 'Sam and the City' on the Sydney Morning Herald Website, but I did note that the 'blog' it was promoting seemed to be updated a lot more than some of the more interesting blogs (Medical, Marketing, Technology, Entertainment). Apparently the woman who writes it bears the job title of 'Dating Blogger'. Given my dislike for the TV show from which the blog obviously derives its name, and the sort of headlines used to advertise it on the site, in keeping with my policy of not giving hits to writers I dislike I decided it was something to stay well away from. Unlike the TV show, which was easily avoided, this woman's collection of glamour photos seemed to be everywhere I looked.

Which is where I discovered Adblock comes in handy. One click, and the photo disappears forever! Unfortunately, given the number of different photos the SMH uses to advertise this blog I regularly have to click 'adblock image', but at least her smarmy mug isn't as ubiquitous on the site as it used to be. How I love Adblock! I had already used it to permanently rid the SMH site of ads, and then I discovered this new and useful feature. The annoying popunders on the SMH are still present because I haven't been able to figure out how to stop them, but at least they are filled with lovely white space that is ad-free.

An Improbable Charge

A couple of days ago a young guy died after being ejected from the RE hotel in Toowong, Brisbane, fairly close to where we live. After some sort of altercation inside the hotel he was held in a headlock by the bouncers and subsequently collapsed on the footpath and stopped breathing.

The three bouncers were charged with the murder of 25 year old William Amaya.

I think it highly unlikely that the three planned to murder the guy, or even cause him any great harm. The incident occurred around 10:30pm on a Saturday night, and the RE is on a main street and highly visible to passing traffic and pedestrians. The chance of three people deciding to commit murder in what may as well have been broad daylight is pretty damn slim.

It's also likely that being overweight, as Mr Amaya was, means that a person carries a greater risk of adverse consequences if they are placed in a headlock.

That's not to say that the bouncers didn't do the wrong thing. It's almost without doubt that what happened was completely unnecessary. It's unlikely that Mr Amaya posed any real threat to the bouncers involved. Nonetheless I think it's a bit of a stretch to charge them with murder. Amaya almost certainly died as a result of their actions, however, so I think they'll probably wind up being put away for manslaughter.

SBS examines Murray Island Survival Story

SBS News ran an item tonight on the discrepancy in the reporting of this incident and the Beaconsfield rescue.

Not even SBS will touch the R-word with a 10-foot pole though: the closest they came is featuring someone who said that 'middle Australia' could better 'relate' to the two Beaconsfield guys.

This in a country where even millionaire yachtsmen rescued by our Navy at taxpayers' expense can sell their story for vast amounts of money.

$230 million in Taxpayer-Funded 'Public Information' Planned

Doling out a big dose of deja vu, the Howard Government has budgeted for 'at least' $230 million in so-called 'public information campaigns' in the next year, which also happens to be the year before the next Federal election. $50 million is going to promote private health care. I'm surprised they're not promoting private education too, because the strategy is the same; get people into the private system, and then pull the rug out from underneath them by progressively cutting money from the public system, claiming it's not needed any more because people are leaving for the private system. What people are too dumb to realise, though, is that when we go through an economic downturn they won't have a public system to fall back on, school or healthcare.

Extremist Christian 'Madrassas': OK in the USA

This is just scary. I could scarcely believe my eyes. I'd heard of Bob Jones University, which sounded about as far fetched as institutional christian nutbaggery could get, but Pensacola Christian College takes the cake. They are fucked up. I don't know what else could be said about them, other than getting expelled must have been the best thing to ever happen to those two students referred to in the first link, even if they didn't know it at the time.

Eurovision 2006 Semi-Finals

"Eurovision, prepare to feel fear!"- Lordi, Finland

I couldn't help myself- I'm watching the Eurovision Song Contest on SBS. There's no denying it mostly consists of buff, eyeshadow-wearing men prancing around while an attractive female finds new ways to rhyme 'maybe' and 'baby', but it's just so cheesy it's irrestistable. Mostly I figure the cheesier the better- I positively hate soaring ballads, but I quite enjoyed Albania's entry. Their contestant had a nice voice accompanied by some Albanian bagpipes, and the old bagpipe guy did a rather nice little solo in the middle of the song. Very cool.

It's not a bad mullet-spotting contest so far: the Russian guy has one of those next-generation mullets, and an earlier female contestant had a mullet-ish hairstyle. I think it might have been Belarus. Belarus had lots of lycra, and energetic dancing, but did they have a body-painted dancer sticking their head and torso out of a grand piano? Uh-uh, no they didn't! One up for Russia!



I'm not sure how many platinum blonde women inhabit Turkey, but they've sent one along as their contestant for Eurovision, to be accompanied by what the commentator said were four British dancers. They dance jerkily, as if they have hiccups.

Ukraine's entry is great- classic Eurovision fare with a an astronomically high cheese-factor. Although who knows how they'll do without their 'traditional' tight leather pants that won them the right to host the gig last year? Poland really ups the costume stakes.

It's too good! Finland are dressed as bizarre characters that look like they might have been part of Saruman's orc army from LOTR, singing a pretty 'hard core' song for Eurovision: 'Rock and Roll Hallelujah'. Very slick performance.

Lithuania: "vote vote vote for the winners; and we are the winners; of Euro-vision!"

Monaco and Iceland sounded terribly out of tune. Iceland's contestant sounded like she was singing with a blocked nose- maybe she had the flu? Either way, maybe the flamboyant costumes will save their arses. Eurovision is not all about the songs, or no-one would be able to pick a winner, because most of the songs sound the same.


All photos except Lordi are from Reuters.

Reporting Rape as Sex

Hear on ABC NewsRadio at 2:10pm: "the High Court has rejected a special leave application from a 55 year old man who was jailed for having sex with his 14 year-old promised bride". The ABC website is reporting it the same way.

Why report it like that? He anally raped her, held her prisoner and beat her up. And she reported it. All of a sudden they're portraying it as an underage sex offence that leaves open the possibility of consent.

Tips for Making Out

I have a neat add-on for firefox that Gam installed for me that autocompletes whatever you type into your google search with the most searched-for terms. Sometimes it can be a pain in the arse if it insists on autocompleting something that you don't want autocompleted, but mostly it's quite interesting, if irrelevant, to see what other people have searched for.

Today, for instance, I was looking for tips on how to make a boring presentation (on canned pineapple) interesting. So I typed in 'tips for m' and the autocomplete function kicked in.

Number one entry was 'tips for moving'.
Number two, with 26.2 million results, was 'tips for making out'. No kidding.

UPDATE: turns out that 'tips for making out' is pretty tame compared with the results for 'pineapple juice': 3 of the top 10 most searched-for results, including #1, involved semen or sperm!

Photo from Parrots First.

Not in Our Interests?

Abuse of Power: Costello

If the figures on bracket creep and the level of fraud in the first home buyer's scheme were favourable to the government, Peter Costello wouldn't have slapped a 'conclusive certificate' on them declaring it's not in the public's interest to know about their tax system and how the government is flinging their money around. Rather, he would have waved them aloft with a triumphant smirk and used them to taunt the Labor party.

The government seems to have at least two tame judges sitting on this case, but hopefully the majority will do the right thing.

What a piece of work. Of course it's in our interest to know what's in those documents. It just wasn't in Peter Costello's interests to release them, so the slimey bastard abused his powers to prevent journalists getting hold of them.

Congressman Exposes Military Lies on Murder of Iraqis

With a story like this, how can the media continue to report the statements of the US military on the goings-on in Iraq as if they are gospel? As far as I'm concerned, that bunch of soldiers probably decided on their own to massacre those innocent Iraqi citizens. The minute that the top brass became involved and decided to lie to the world about it, they became complicit in the murder.

Food- Great Aussie Products

Cobram Estate

I have had many a whinge about supermarkets lately, Coles in particular, but I wanted to give a thumbs up to several tasty products that I've been into lately, and also the fact that when we last went to buy olive oil, Coles was stocking at least five more brands of Australian olive oil than when we last looked.

Usually we'd been buying Viva extra-virgin olive oil, under the impression it was Australian, and also because of a Choice magazine taste test that showed it was one of the better -tasting olive oils available from supermarkets. Turns out Viva was a blend of Aussie and imported oils, but it was still tasty. Most pleasingly, though Coles Toowong have started stocking Choice's number one pick, Cobram Estate, a 100% Aussie extra-virgin olive oil that I'm happy to report is also very tasty. The Australian brands seem to have a nice 'cut-grass' aroma that the other foreign brands I've tried are missing. When Choice did their survey (quite a while back) they only found two Australian olive oils stocked on supermarket shelves, so to see more of them available now is just great.

Another great oil is Sanatarium's macadamia nut oil- it's so delicious, but fairly pricey. If I was filthy rich I'd probably do a lot of my cooking with the stuff because it has such a nice flavour. Searching (fruitlessly) for an informative link on Sanatarium's oil I found this site that sells and delivers Aussie products anywhere in Australia, and is based in Brisbane. They stock Sanitarium macadamia nut oil as well as another brand, for what looks like approximately regular retail prices. Good stuff.

Lately I've also been enjoying a lot of yoghurt. Mostly I buy Jalna biodynamic natural yoghurt because it has a nice taste and texture, and natural yoghurt can be eaten with sweet or savoury foods. I do find it irritating that they insist on spelling it 'yoghourt', but that's forgiveable for such a nice yoghurt. I find their premium fruit yoghurts a little creamy for my taste, even though they have the same amount of fat as the biodynamic. Margaret River also makes a fantastic yoghurt with a less smooth texture than a lot of yoghurts. It reminds me a bit of the yoghurt my mum used to make. I don't buy low-fat yoghurts, and I can't find my favourite full-fat strawberry one anywhere any more, but I can report that the peach/mango one is just as good. I love their baked ricotta, too. If I have to work in the food industry after I graduate rather than in public health I'd love to work for a dairy company. Hopefully I'd get freebies...

Preschool Funding to Replace Parents?

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't see what the fact some kids are starting school with 'no idea what to do with a pen, paintbrush or book' has to do with a crisis in preschool funding. I would say it's a crisis in parenting.

People shouldn't have kids if they're not going to parent them. Anyone who lets their kid get to 4 or 5 years of age without bothering to take the small amount of time it would take to introduce them to pen and paper, or to read them a book, is bloody irresponsible. Preschool should work in conjunction with good parenting, not replace it altogether.

Contraception is bloody cheap in Australia. More people should use it.

Insight: Gay Marriage

Last night's Insight was on a topic that gets me really steamed: gay marriage.

There is absolutely no valid argument against it. The Howard government's stance on the issue- that it's not acceptable because it's not what the 'traditional' model of marriage is, is just a thinly disguised expression of bigotry. It's never been 'traditional' to live together before marriage, either, despite the percentage of couples doing so increasing markedly since the 1970s. Gam and I have been premarital-cohabiting for 4 years- does that mean there should be laws enacted to stop us from getting married? My grandma's 'traditional values' say that it's wrong. Why are there no laws against it?

My grandma's 'traditional values' also inform her that my brother's 'catholic' (not religious) girlfriend is part of the great Roman Catholic Conspiracy to Steal Young People Away from the Anglican Church by Marriage. I remember my primary school scripture teacher telling her class of 8 year olds how she had grown up in the Catholic church, and because she had fallen in love with and married a man whose affiliation was Church of England she was effectively excommunicated. There was a time when marrying outside your specific christian affiliation was a big deal. Outside the traditionally accepted view of marriage, even. Should there have been a law against it?

My grandma's 'traditional values' are affronted by the fact that Gam is black. Even today there are a lot of Australians with racist tendencies who don't approve of interracial marriage. 50 years ago a majority of Australians would have disapproved of it, if that's not the case any more. It was against traditional 'values' of white superiority. I guess that means there should be laws against interracial marriage until it can be proven that a majority of the Australian community supports it...

Last night's Insight included the usual spokespeople for bigotry: a catholic organisation, a Liberal Party member (probably standing in for the Labor Party, seeing as their policy on gay marriage is exactly the same as the Libs), the 'Australian Family Association' ('Family' in the names of organisations these days seems to be synonymous with right-wing christians). Interestingly one of the other guests on the show was what I could only refer to as a 'gay nazi'.

This guy was a hideous piece of work. He consistently shouted over the top of the more quietly-spoken guests, accused gay people who have children of being selfish and essentially saying that they and their children were asking be discriminated against simply due to the fact that they made the choice to have kids when there are laws in place to discriminate against gay people. This guy didn't have a problem with the laws, he had a problem with gay people. If he'd lived in Saudi Arabia and got caught having gay sex he'd be the biggest cheerleader at his own execution. That's how fucked up he was. By extension of his sick brand of logic, I suppose, when homosexual acts were against the law in Australia, any guy whose door was busted in by the police when he was in bed with a consensual male partner was just asking to be beaten up and jailed.

Anyway, the non-bigoted guests on the show included two young guys who had been together for eight years and had had to go to the US and find a surrogate in order to be able to start a family together. They had a beautiful baby son who they were obviously very proud of, and supportive parents. One of the guys had previously been a minister. I found that interesting, because out of the five curates who came to the church I grew up with for 18 years, two were gay. No-one knew at the time, though.

Another one was a woman who had had a daughter while in a lesbian relationship. I'm not sure how old the daughter was. I would have guessed early-mid 20s, but I gathered she might still be in school. The mother and her partner had broken up, but the girl had two mums and, as you might have guessed, seemed absolutely none the worse for wear. Funny that. Some wanker who was also a guest kept saying something like "there's still no evidence that gays and lesbians can actually raise children". Absolutely wrong. Apart from the evidence in the form of the gay couples with children on the show, every impartial study done on the topic has shown that children of gay couples are at least as well adjusted as the children of straight couples. And I would say any troubles that the children of gay couples have that are different from the children of heterosexual couples are simply the result of experiencing discrimination and bigotry against their parents.

I'm not even sure if I've mentioned this before in another post, because I tend to blab on and go off on all sorts of tangents, but my mum's best friend and her partner are a real picture of a successful relationship: they've been together for a year or so longer than my mum and dad have been married, which would make it about 25 years. Some time ago, I would say more than 5 years by now, mum's friend underwent IVF and they had a baby boy. I shouldn't even need to say that he is a perfectly lovely, perfectly normal, gregarious kid. They're great parents, and have raised kids in a more stable relationship than a hell of a lot of people do.

Gay marriage shouldn't even be an issue, and the fact that Australia's marriage laws are designed to be exclusive rather than inclusive turns me right off getting married, at least getting married here in Australia. I wouldn't deserve any fewer rights if Gam happened to be a woman. I wouldn't love him/her any less, and there wouldn't be any difference to my suitability as a parent, just my opportunity to be one. I would be just the same as I am now, only with fewer human rights than I have now.

I hate bigotry, and I detest our government.

Happy Employees Not Such a Bad Thing After All

I thought it was an interesting juxtaposition between this article in the NYTimes, and another article on The Australian's website today.

The first one reminded me of when another US airline, I think it may have been United Airlines, was going bankrupt and the board convinced the airline staff to take a paycut in an effort to stave of bankruptcy. The board then promptly awarded themselves millions of dollars in bonuses for the year. Seems there could be a more successful business model than screwing over your employees.

Which brings us to the 'unexpcted' high cost of casual labour. Who'd have thought that no job security and a lack of benefits would result in low morale and productivity?

I must say, though, with regard to the NYTimes article- it's scary how many of those 40 or 50-something flight attendents still live with their parents!

Original links here and here. You may need a free membership name and password for the NYTimes article.

Remember that story of dramatic rescue?

Wrong one. I'd be surprised if you've even heard a single mention of this one. Lisa's latest post discusses the two men and a boy who were lost at sea for three weeks following cyclone Monica. Picture is from the Herald Sun story, which I won't bother linking to because of news.com.au's dodgy practice of taking down links to their stories after a week.

Do I look like a druggo? Episode 2

I had bad hayfever again today. I asked Gam to buy me some telfast with pseudoephedrine when he went shopping. Silly me, forgetting that due to new laws, now when I happen to run out of medication to treat my hayfever on a Sunday I'm supposed to phone for an appointment with a doctor, pay for public transport to the doctor's practice, pay for the visit to the doctor (who presumably wouldn't bulk-bill like the weekday-operating uni doctors do), walk away with a prescription, find a chemist that's open, and finally purchase a pack of pseudoephedrine telfast and treat my hayfever.

I hate having hayfever, but I hate even more the expectation that I am a criminal and being made to go to great lengths just to purchase a damned expensive pack of 10 tablets to treat it. And I hate the stupid bloody bikie-gangs and drug manufacturers who've supposedly abused the system and bought vast loads of pseudoephedrine in order to manufacture illegal drugs. You're all wankers!!!

*shakes fist*

A Blog Full of Cat Photos

How can you go wrong with lots of cat pictures? Some nice stories of how some of them came to be adopted, too.

Bias in Language

Something I've noticed:

When some mullah or Imam makes a proclamation of some kind, and this features in the news, followers of that particular brand of religious nutbag are called 'muslims' in the media. Pretty straightforward.

But...

When some Pope or cardinal makes a proclamation of some kind, and this features in the news, followers of that particular brand of religious nutbag are called 'the faithful' by the media.

This kind of reporting is unfortunately undertaken even by the good people at our ABC.

It's disappointing to see this rather insidious form of bias in the Australian media.

Miranda Devine in Praise of Bill Shorten

I know I have a policy of deliberately avoiding Miranda Devine articles but when I saw the headline for her article in praise of Bill Shorten I just couldn't help myself. Here it is (cut and pasted so she doesn't get any more clicks).

The fact that Miranda Devine likes him just confirms my opinion of the guy.

A Good Reason for a Life Sentence

They're letting this guy loose into the community? For god's sake, is the "don't worry if he does it again he'll be back in jail for life" going to be a comfort to the family of his next victim? Someone who commits a crime like that is pretty much beyond rehabilitation. I don't care if there's only a 0.01% chance someone like him will reoffend- the enormity of the offence makes it too great a risk to release him into the community.

The Court of Criminal Appeal ruled today that the maximum sentence for David Jack Glen of 36 years would be quashed and if released would be monitored for the rest of his life.

He had been jailed for life in 1986, with no non-parole period, but that was redetermined last year and he was given a minimum term of 24 years with a maximum sentence of 36 years.

The CCA decision yesterday effectively means that while the non-parole period will remain the same, if he breaches parole he will then be jailed for the rest of his natural life.

Justice Michael Grove gave consent for the victim - Kylie Corbett - to be named.

Outside court, Kylie's mother, Barbara Cashman, said she hoped Glen would never be released because she believed he could never be rehabilitated.

...

During Glen's attack on Kylie on October 10, 1985, he threatened to kill her with a hunting knife while she was tied to a bed. He repeatedly and violently sexually assaulted her, leaving her with extensive injuries.

He was 19 at the time.

At one point, he left her tied up and bleeding, in his Parramatta flat and went to play pinball and eat chicken and chips. He returned, forced her to read to him, again assaulted her and then strangled her with a military-style baton. He hanged her by the neck in a wardrobe, seated, and left her to die.

How could his sentence have been 'redetermined'?

Why I Hate Supermarkets- a few short, disjointed ramblings

Rant #1: Our local Coles stopped stocking my favourite brand of milk, parmalat Pure Organic. Now I, and all the other people who use to buy the 2L cartons of Parmalat, are forced to buy 1L cartons of the equally good (and Australian) Ivyhome organic milk, which is slightly more expensive due to the fact it is sold only in 1L cartons.

The only problem is that the bright spark who made the decision to stop stocking Parmalat didn't take into account the fact that the customers who previously bought it would most likely switch to another organic milk, and therefore start stocking more of the Ivyhome milk. The fact that Coles is consistently sold out of Ivyhome obviously hasn't twigged with this person, and they have not bothered to increase their orders.

Last week I went to buy milk, and witnessed the last carton being taken off the shelf by another customer, who did exactly what I would have done and peered frantically up the back of the shelf to see if there was any more. I went home without milk.

The next day I went to Coles again. A big, empty space on the shelf where the Ivyhome milk should have been. Finally, the day after that, they'd restocked their shelves. I bought 6 cartons.

Yesterday I was down to 2 cartons, so when we went shopping I was hoping (against hope, really) that they would have restocked the shelves again and I could buy more milk before I ran out altogether. Once again, they hadn't restocked their bloody shelves! Grrrrr. As you can probably tell, milk is a very important part of my diet...

Rant #2: Regarding our local Coles again... On important public holidays like Christmas and Easter (and in backward old Queensland, on Good Friday too) you expect the supermarket to be closed. When there is an ordinary public holiday, generally supermarkets alter their opening and closing times slightly. When they are going to be closing for a public holiday you expect them to put up some kind of notice. And usually they do. But not St Lucia Coles when it came to Anzac Day and Labour Day! They just didn't open.

Rant #3: They don't hire enough staff. Supermarkets in general this time. Cheap-arse bastards who run the supermarkets know that you need those groceries and will queue for as long as it takes to get them, so they only hire about 1/3 of the necessary checkout staff. Particularly on Sundays, because they have to pay them more on Sundays.

Rant #4: They screw over the Aussie farmers who grow the fresh fruit and vegetables that are sold in Australian supermarkets. They pay rock-bottom prices to the farmers and then charge consumers a shitload of money. This Hansard from a NSW parliamentary session in 2000 gives a glimpse at the situation.

I don't buy fruit and vegetables at Coles any more unless it's an emergency. When we shop at the Fruity Capers greengrocer in Toowong I don't usually have to carefully check every single onion I buy to see if it's mouldy or soft like I do at Coles, because the produce is of much better quality. The apples are still crap though. I haven't had a good apple in years.

Rant #5: I'm sure this is a 'to be continued'. No doubt I'll have another good bitch about supermarkets again in future. When I have a job and a car, I will be doing a lot more shopping at places other than the supermarket than I do now. At present we pretty much have to shop there because it's within walking distance, and I don't know of anywhere else within walking distance that stocks organic milk, damn them.

Edit: #5 can be my distaste for the smarmy ads featuring Lisa McCune. Blargh.

Singapore Election Farce Passes Without Scrutiny

Hereditary PM Lee Hsien Loong

When Belarussian President Alexander Lukashenko won a landslide victory of 82.6% of the vote, Belarus was placed under sanctions by the EU and US. He was slammed in the press and called a dictator, an accusation which was at least partially correct.

Singaporean Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has just been relected, with his party winning 82 of 84 seats. This election was praised in the press because it was the first time ever that over half the seats were contested by any opposition. In the last election, in 2001, only one third of seats provided voters with any choice of candidate. Voting being compulsory in Singapore, this essentially meant that voters were forced to vote for the government's candidates. The shortage of candidates might have had something to do with the Singaporean government using a compliant judiciary to send opponents bankrupt through dodgy defamation claims. Occasionally sending them to jail if they are unable to pay up. Eventually they run out of money.

This time around, the Singaporean government enforced Chinese government-style censorship and regulation of blogs in the leadup to the election.

Why the favourable coverage in the press outside of Singapore? Accusations of dictatorship might be a bit of a stretch, but why should Singapore's government receive soft treatment simply because they are western-friendly and seem to be more effective at keeping their opposition cowed?

Blog Surfing

Every now and then I do some random clicking on the 'next blog' button that's on the top right hand corner of this page, just to get a look at what blogs are out there. Most of them are crap. This one is beautiful. I can't understand a word of what's being said- it could be something incredibly filthy for all I know- but the pictures are of fairly mundane but beautiful things.

Botox

Something I've been meaning to have a gripe about for a while. It looks dreadful! It doesn't make the recipient of the injection look younger (yes, your plastic surgeon is lying to you!). It just gives them a dreadful waxy look. You can always tell when someone has had it done. Gam and I refer to the 'social pages' of the Brisbane News (free local magazine) as the Botox Pages.

That chick who presents A Current Affair (Tracy Grimshaw?) looks like she's been embalmed, for chrissakes. Her face draws one's eye in the same manner that a horrible road accident might.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject of cosmetic procedures, has anyone else noticed John Howard's face looking a little... smoother... lately? Doubtful it's botox. I'm guessing peels or some kind of weirdo facial that plumps up his skin.

Filipinas Set Breastfeeding Record

With 40% of the population of the Philippines living in poverty, isn't it strange how only 16% of Filipina mothers breastfeed their babies, given it's so much cheaper to do so?

Infant formula manufacturers shouldn't be allowed to profit from peoples' ignorance. I'm in favour of restricting sales and slapping a cigarette-style health warning label on tins of infant formula.

Albania Accepts Innocent Guantanamo Prisoners

Question: What does the US do with a couple of Uighur men it has had imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay for around five years after it has determined they are innocent?

Answer: Force them to remain in the camp while searching desperately for a third country to take them, because it's too scummy to take them in itself.

The Fool and the Fools Who Follow Him

You'd think that if Abu Musab al Zarqawi was so damn incompetent it would be a piece of cake for the US to capture him. Or at the very least they would wait until after capturing him to mock his supposed incompetence.

If you ask me the joke's on them. They can't catch a man who they've chosen to portray as a bumbling moron, and three years into their war on Iraq they're spending $10 billion a month on their operations there*. So who's laughing?

* For purposes of scale: I once saw an estimate of the cost of providing the entire developing world with safe drinking water supplies. $80 billion. Or 8 months in Iraq, depending on what your priorities are.

The Unluckiest Little Girl

It's hard to comprehend bad luck on the scale that poor little Sophie Delezio has suffered in her 5 years. On the other hand, is it not just a little too much coincidence that both times the cause of her horrific injuries was a car driven by an elderly person? When I heard more details of the accident on the news this morning I thought it said that an 18 year old man had been charged. That didn't surprise me- many 'accidents' are the result of a young hoon behind the wheel. It turns out I misheard: the man charged is 80 years old. Old guys aren't usually known for hooning; the man probably did not even see the crossing. He probably should not have even had a licence. With the other stories of elderly drivers causing death and destruction in the news I'm constantly reminded of that South Park episode...

I'm hoping Sophie Delezio's injuries won't lead to any further permanent diminishing of her quality of life; she had it pretty tough already. Her parents are religious nuts but I guess anyone in their position would be grasping at anything that gave them hope. No-one should have to go through what that family has been subjected to.

I doubt there's a single person in Australia who hasn't spared a thought for Sophie since this awful news. Poor little kid.

Spreading Democracy, Upholding Sovereignty

The US is still busy dictating to Mexico what it can and can't include in its own laws. After all, being a citizen of a democratic country means that other countries get to tell your government what to do, right? No, I didn't think so either...

Seems that the proposed new Mexican law to decriminalise possession of small amounts of a range of drugs has been nixed by their American overlords, who proclaimed that Mexico could become the new Amsterdam. They should be so lucky, I reckon.

Speaking of drugs, I somehow wound up at the Wikipedia entry for 'Hash Cookie'. Also in the news today are new figures that show almost 300 000 Australians use cannabis every day. That's a heck of a lot until you think about how many Australians 'use' cigarettes every day- a figure well into the millions.

It's a Smaller World...

Or so one might think from the incredible shrinking World News section on the SMH website. Seeing as they get about half their articles direct from the Guardian and the New York Times anyway, isn't this a bit lazy? I've been meaning to buy the paper SMH more regularly to see if their world news coverage is actually decreasing or if it's just that they're neglecting their website.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Costello Cowers After Scolding From Beazley

Straight as an arrow, hard as nails: Kim Beazley

Kim Beazley has completed his makeover as the new 'hard man' of the Labor party by getting tough on Peter Costello for appearing to 'jump for joy' in a silly photo on the same day that interest rates were raised by the Reserve Bank.

"I think many people would be upset to see the Treasurer yesterday jumping for joy at the prospect of interest rates rising,"

That's the kind of attitude that's going to win elections, that is.

West Papua: Freeport at it again

I guess being a polluter on an absolutely massive scale is of no consequence when you have the Indonesian government in your pocket.

FreeWestPapua.org

Abbott 'Supports' Change in Junk Food Labelling

Tony Abbott has announced that he believes that all packaged food should be prominently labelled, not just with the standard nutrition information but with the percentage per serve of a person's daily energy needs. While it's a great idea and will help to educate consumers, I don't see how this fits in with his refusal to tackle television advertisers targeting children with unhealthy products. Instead, he says:

"information rather than dictation is what Australians need".

Does this means Tony Abbott supports a large-print 'information' notice displayed over half the screen on advertisements aimed at children (and advertisments aimed at parents) stating that "nutritionists advise that frequent consumption of product X is likely to result in harm to your child's health"?

I may have been surprised by his stance on food labelling, but I won't hold my breath for Mr Abbott to back up his support for 'information' for consumers with real action.

My guess is that he's seen popular support for the issue of banning advertising to children, and since his attempt at a $6 million dancing-couch palm-off of the issue failed he's been forced into advocating real action. Handily enough, however, food labelling is the joint domain of state and federal governments, so he knows it will no doubt take a lot longer to enforce his current idea than it would to ban advertising to kids, which is the sole domain of the government. If the new food labelling never gets up off the ground he'll be able to share blame with the states.

Mining Political Gold

Nice to see wannabe Labor-leader and possible future PM Bill Shorten making all the political mileage he can out of the Beaconsfield mine-tragedy-slash-uplifting-story-of-hope. It's a gold mine indeed, Bill, and your well-rehearsed sombre expressions are right up there with those of John Howard and Brendan Nelson at their appearance of the funeral of Jake Kovco. Heck, those guys managed to look almost as upset (but no tears on camera- they're men, thankyou!) as Pvt. Kovco's wife.

I don't want to be too negative about Shorten; we all know the Labor Party can't get much worse, but the solution to their problems isn't your standard-model, ambitious 'born politician'. The ALP has no shortage of those already.

Diverting Welfare to Benefit Kids

My initial thoughts on the plan by Federal Minister for Families, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs, Mal Brough, to 'quarantine' a portion of welfare payments in order to ensure that at least some of the money is spent on food and other necessities for the recipients' children is that it is a bloody good idea. A first step, perhaps, but undoubtedly better than having people sitting around and talking about 'the problem' while leaving the situation as is. The situation sucks, and if a (hopefully) short-term 'paternalistic' solution ensures that a generation of kids gets at least some of life's necessities that they're currently lacking, then that can't be a bad thing.

From what I've read in the media, it seems that only the Reverend Bill Crews has had any sensible criticism of the plan. From the SMH:

Exodus Foundation founder Reverend Bill Crews said Mr Brough had good intentions, but the plan had problems.

"The question becomes where do you draw the line? Where does it become interference and where does it actually become helping?" Rev Crews said.

He said the government could create a black market for vouchers or cards they might issue to ensure payments are spent wisely.

Obviously details such as that would have to be tackled. That's important. But I don't believe in politically correct notions of 'paternalism' when the lives of children are at stake. Anyone who doubts that lives are at stake should just take a look at life-expectancy for aboriginal people in this country compared with the rest of the population. I don't mean to imply that the solution should only be applied to aboriginal communities though- the simple fact is that if you live off welfare you can't afford to feed that money into a poker machine or buy cigarettes and alcohol with it. That would imply the government is being more generous than it needs to be. Currently I'm living off Youth Allowance, and I know that simply isn't the case.

On the other hand we have to be careful not to wind up with a situation such as that in some parts of the US, where 'food stamps' are given out and are only redeemable for some kinds of food (organic food, for example, being deemed a 'luxury' and therefore not valid for purchase with food stamps).

At this point it's only an idea. It will need to be refined, and the details thought out very carefully. But when you have a situation where there are Aussie kids who aren't getting enough food in their bellies, something has to be done. This isn't a new idea- Noel Pearson has been talking about this issue with regard to welfare in aboriginal communities for a couple of years now, and it's not going to turn bad parents into good parents, it's not going to solve the problem of school drop-out rates for indigenous kids and children from welfare-dependent families. It's not going to solve all of the health problems that plague people from a low socioeconomic background for whom healthcare is pretty mediocre, to put it nicely, but bleating about stripping welfare recipients of their dignity is just bullshit. If it can be proved that a child is not being looked after we're supposed to worry about the emotional impact on the neglectful parent of holding back some of their pokie-money to feed the child? Surely this must be mis-reporting or under-reporting by the media; I find it difficult to believe there's anyone more 'bleeding heart liberal' than myself.

Student's Roasted Pumpkin & Sweet Potato Soup

This is one of the things I like to cook in autumn/winter, particularly when I have exams. It takes next to no effort and is tasty and nutritious. It doesn't include a 'stirring over a hot stove' step because I know I'll be heating it up in a microwave as I want it, and keeping the amount of heating involved down helps to minimise loss of vitamins (that's how I rationalise my laziness anyway). As with every soup, seasonings can be adjusted, added or omitted according to taste. You can leave out the sweet potato and add more pumpkin instead, or even add potatoes as a cheap way of bulking up the soup. You could also use a vegetable or chicken stock instead of the hot water, for extra flavour, but then you'd be expending more effort and money and it would just be 'pumpkin soup' instead of 'student's pumpkin soup'!

1/2 a small to medium pumpkin
1 large sweet potato
1 onion
4 cloves garlic (peeled)
olive oil
hot water
milk (optional)
salt
black pepper
chilli (paste, flakes, powder)
nutmeg

Heat oven to 200ºC. Peel and slice the pumpkin. Slice the sweet potato into rounds approximately 2-3cm thick. Peel the onion and slice it in half down the middle. Using a pastry brush or your fingers, lightly coat pumpkin, sweet potato, onion and garlic cloves with olive oil, place them all on a tray and put them in the oven. Bake until the pumpkin and sweet potato are cooked and lightly browned (probably 30-45 minutes). Remove tray from oven and leave to cool a little.

Have your food processor ready! Empty the contents of the tray into the food processor, add a bit of hot water and start blending. Add black pepper, salt, chilli and nutmeg to taste- remember it's easier to add more later than remove it if you put too much in. Keep adding hot water and/or milk until the soup reaches desired consistency.

Refrigerate and reheat as needed. Best served with some kind of toasted wholegrain bread.