John Israel vs Pauly Stine

My neighbour and i don't get along, we've been having a property dispute. The local council redrew our plots and i now own part of what used to be his property. My neighbour wasn't too happy with this, even though it was authorised by the local council! I told him that the council owed me for doing nothing to fix a traffic crossing that killed my grandfather, oddly enough that didn't seem to be enough for him. Imagine!

After I tore down what used to be his kids' playhouse, he got really upset and bought a big dog and tried to get me to leave my new land. Fortunately my friend across town gave me an m4 to deal with the dog. It was a bit of overkill I admit, but it was free (did I mention my friend across town gives me stuff for free?) Anyway my neighbour decided he wanted to negotiate a solution, he said he'd be happy with 1/4 or so of the land back and I could keep the rest. It seemed like a good deal, but I'm afraid i couldn't deal with him because he wasn't a Christian.

Time passed, dogs got shot, eventually the old man of the house died and my neighbour's family got together and decided to try Christianity so we could negotiate. Unfortunately they decided to become southern baptists, so I cut off their water. And burned down their garage. The council didn't seem to mind. Also there was an unfortunate incident with their daughter while I was aiming at their new dog.

I kept telling them, in between clips of 5.56, that I wanted a period of perfect calm before we could try negotiating again, and that I wouldn't negotiate with any damn southern baptists, and it had to be an overcast day on the second thursday of an odd numbered year, and they had to find me a shrubbery. And well that's kinda where we are today. Their kids keep throwing bottles on my lawn. I don't understand why they hate me so much.

I've had to take over more and more of their land to protect myself. I need to keep the bottles off my lawn. To fund my expenses, I've built condos on the land I've been forced to take and let my cousins move in them, It seems to be working out well but they keep trying to take more land and I'm not sure it's such a good idea but they're my cousins. They keep going on about how all the land is rightfully mine. I'm not sure I should listen to them but my friend across town who gives me free stuff thinks it's cool so I don't really have anything to lose. Lately my cousins and I have planned a raid on the outhouse that now houses my neighbour's family. I think that should put an end to the bottles.