Going hormonal

For any regular readers who dislike TMI without a warning... consider yourself warned. Full-on TMI rant coming up (no pictures this time!):

Since my laparoscopy I have continued to have light bleeding and spotting, along with mild pelvic pain a couple of times a day that has become increasingly severe over the last week, to the point where I've started taking painkillers again. I still feel better than I did before the op, mainly because my stomach isn't swelled up to the size of a rockmelon. Though it does tend to bloat up a bit whenever I get pain.

I haven't had anything really resembling a normal cycle since the real trouble started back in late July- none of the usual PMS symptoms (mid-cycle horniness, boobs blowing up and getting painful, feeling the need to eat mountains of sweet food!). I have recently been horribly mood-swing-y. I'm blaming my Implanon, which has given me dodgy side-effects right from the beginning, but I figured the joys of unprotected sex were far outweighed by the mess it made of my menstrual cycle (which, face it, I never viewed particularly favourably even before the Implanon). So, given that I've had about 4-5 bleeding-free days in the last 2-3 months, I'd been leaning towards having the Implanon taken out.

I was planning to leave the Implanon out for long enough for my body to recover and then try some other form of hormone-based contraception. I'd made an appointment for tomorrow with my regular doctor to discuss my options.

Then I did some googling and found the following on the home page of Implanon-USA:

"The use of IMPLANON and other progestin-only hormonal contraceptives have been associated with ectopic pregnancies, bleeding irregularities and ovarian cysts..."

Bleeding irregularities I knew about (only too well). Ovarian cysts, on the other hand??!!1! Implanon raises the risk of ovarian cysts, as do other progestogen contraceptives, such as Depo Provera. Now, I don't remember whether an increased risk of ovarian cysts was listed as a side-effect or risk when I first had Implanon put in 6.5 years ago. But I am pretty sure I remember when I was first diagnosed as having an ovarian cyst in February this year (after umpteen episodes of pain probably caused by cysts) my doctor telling me that having Implanon should reduce my risk of ovarian cysts. Gah!

So I phoned up straight away to find out when I could get the nearest available appointment to have my Implanon taken out. I'm having it out next Monday. I only just had it replaced in June!

Frankly, I've had it up to *here* with hormonal contraceptives.

I also hate and despise condoms. Sure they have a very valuable place in society when it comes to protecting people from STDs. But they really do reduce the sensation. Despite believing Girlfriend and Cosmopolitan magazines as a (virgin! Ha-ha!) teenager when they told me that when a guy says that wearing a condom during sex is like showering in a raincoat it's all bunk and he really can't feel anything different- well, I beg to differ. Heh. Come to think of it, they also perpetrated the myth that penetration is overrated because a woman can't feel anything once it's more than 2 inches inside her vagina. Come on! We all know that's not true!

Condoms are horrible things, and sex without them is so much better. If there's one great thing about having a steady partner who you can trust not to give you some horrible STD, it's not having to wear a condom. Gam laughs at my no-condom evangelism, but I reckon he dislikes them as much as I do. The last time we had to use them was back in 2005 when the abcess in my arm meant I wasn't allowed to have my Implanon replaced for a month or two. I'm seriously not looking forward to having to use them again. On the other hand, I'd rather be pain-free, horny and having plastic-wrapped sex than in pain, uncomfortable and be getting sweet sweet unprotected sex only when the pain and bleeding stops enough to allow it to happen.

In conclusion, fuck Implanon... and a reluctant 'hello' to condoms.