'Diary' entry- butterflies

I hope Gam doesn't get narky at me for putting up this photo of him from 2002. It was taken some time- months, probably- after we got together. I played around with it on the GIMP and gave it a sepia tone. It's one of the photographs I brought back from Kempsey around Christmas time. I was struck by how boyish he looks, although I never would have described him as looking boyish at the time. We both look older than we did then, something that seems so obvious it's silly to say, but I never notice it until I compare with photos from that time. The more photos I have of Gam the better. I never tire of looking at him. He will be grumpy when he reads this post... he didn't even want me to send a copy of the photo to his own mother, who I know will be thrilled to receive it!

I finally got my arse into gear re arranging various wedding things today. We put it all off until the holidays, not wanting to be distracted from our uni work, and have conveniently managed to ignore it up until now. My mum has been regularly asking me if we've arranged anything yet and I've had to fob her off, apologetically. I wanted to get quotes for the things we're interested in before we go asking mum and dad to pay for stuff. That way if it's freak-out expensive we can make alternative arrangements without them having to worry about balancing the cost with the possibility that we're not getting what we want. We're not particularly hung up on anything except the hope that all our family members don't wind up at each other's throats (they haven't met yet, but it's still a worry). One of the reasons we wanted to put off getting married until we were both out of uni was so we could pay for the whole thing, and it's kind of a shame not being able to do that. As for relations between our respective families, we can only do so much.



I haven't really done a lot- merely asked for quotes from a prospective reception venue and a transport option, as well as contact a civil celebrant. The celebrant is the only one who has got back to me so far- her all-inclusive fee is $400. I don't know if that's normal, cheap or expensive compared with other celebrants (we've never been married before!) but I do think that the most important thing is probably to find one we have a rapport with rather than shop around for the cheapest. I suppose that's something we can't know until we've met at least one.

As far as the dress goes, I thought I'd have it all planned out by now, but I suppose my urges to google for wedding dress pictures during the semester must have been due to compulsive procrastination rather than a real desire to find the 'gown that captures the essence of my beauty and speaks for my heart' (no, really, I didn't just make that shit up). Oh well. Gam's mother bought some of Gam's father's family (or region/tribe?) kente cloth when she was in Ghana recently, and so I'm thinking of a dress design that will incorporate that. It's a much happier idea than copying straight from a bridal magazine.



Another bit of news is that I've applied for a job for the first time in ages. I always thought I'd leave off job-searching until I was no longer receiving a centrelink allowance, as when I got a holiday job over the Christmas 2005-06 holiday and notified them when I'd finished, their system fucked up and said I was still earning money, eating away at my allowable earnings unbeknownst to me until my benefits were cut drastically. Even then, when I phoned to find out what was going on, the person who identified the fault was unable to fix it and needed to refer it to their IT guys, resulting in me getting short-changed on my allowance for several payments.

That was rather painful, and of course when they fuck up they don't have to make up the payments, whereas if I were to fuck up they'd be hounding me years later. Meanwhile we still need to eat and pay our bills even when I'm underpaid. Cut to 2007 and I'm worried that I'm a bit too comfortable being a bum (albeit a reasonably hard-working student-bum), so when I noticed a job on the UQ Union employment website that is vaguely nutrition related I sent an email enquiring about it. I thought it would be long gone, and wasn't surprised not to hear back about it, but today I finally got an email saying the job was still up for grabs and I could send in an application. That of course meant I had to update my résumé and write a cover letter, with all the pre-application nerves that entails. Applying for a job has always been so much more nerve-wrecking since the time I got fired. The chick who emailed me asked if I would be still available to work after I graduate, to which I intend to reply hell yes. I don't know if I can get centrelink benefits while I do honours next year, but frankly I don't want them. I still have a mini heart attack every time I get one of their envelopes in the mail in case there's another screw-up and I have to send in all my bank statements, enrolment records and the deed to the soul of my first-born child. If I get this job, maybe they'll increase my hours above the 10 per week advertised or have other jobs I might be qualified for, and I won't have to worry about whether I can get centrelink or whether I'll have to mooch off my parents for a year.

Talk about counting my chickens before they hatch... but I think I'd seriously rather work at a dodgy fast food franchise or clean toilets than go on centrelink for another year. The thought just fills me with dread. Cross your fingers for me!

For most of you, reading this was probably as exciting as watching mould grow...
Mould was from the tinned tomatoes that had been sitting in our fridge for ages even prior to exams; I didn't get around to throwing them out until a week or two ago, by which time they were infinitely prettier (and ickier) than when they went in.