Get this- I just got home from uni, about to get ready to go in to work, when I heard a knock on the door. I was expecting Gam home from clinic at Ipswich around 2pm, and I figured maybe he'd got home a bit early, so I opened the door.
It was the plumber. I forgot we'd told our resident managers that the plumber was welcome to pop by whenever he was in the complex in the course of fixing the problem with the hot water we've been having lately.
He made a beeline for the bathroom where the valve he's supposed to change is. The bathroom is kind of messy, but I didn't worry too much.
Until I saw that one of my vibrators that Gam had removed from the cupboard for some reason was sitting upright on the bathroom sink. It took the plumber a while to notice, but once he did, he couldn't stop darting a look at it from the corner of his eyes every couple of seconds. I had to try and stop myself from laughing and carry on the conversation, pretending nothing happened.
He's in there right now changing the valve, with my vibrator perched above his head... I don't know who would be more embarrassed by this, but I reckon I know what his story to his mates at the pub will be this week... and the latter half of the story will no doubt consist of speculation about what was interrupted by the knock on the door (nothing this time, I swear!).
Now I'm wondering how many of our other toys are in the bathroom cupboard that contains the pipe with the valve he's working on. Oh dear...
Update: it's worse than I thought- there are at least *two* more vibrators in that cupboard. Or rather I should say 'were'. Despite the plumber declining my previous offer to clear out the cupboard, he obviously decided it was necessary, and among all the soaps, shampoos and toiletry bags I can see two more vibrators poking out of the pile- a bit difficult to miss given that one's bright green and the other bright purple.
I am officially the more embarrassed of us both, now. A little warning would be nice in the future!
17 comments:
Christ!
How many have you got????
Absolute. Classic.
SC- lots and lots! Well, more than 3. Vibrators don't have a 'try before you buy' policy, so purchasing them is a bit hit and miss...
That is hysterical. Always wondered what the real estate woman thought of the ben-wah balls that were hanging off the security chain when she popped around once. Assuming she even knew what they were.
A few years back on The Glass House, Lauren Burns said that her house had been broken into and that among other things (gold medal etc) her vibrators were stolen.
"Did they take your good ones?" asked Corinne Grant. Wil Anderson's eyes just popped out of his head, "Good ones?"
A timely post. Upcoming friends birthday and am getting her a sex toy. So what should one look out for in a vibrator so I dont get a dud?
Lol! That is hilarious.
On the bright side, though, you would have made his day; that's a great story to tell... Imagine how boring the job usually is!
chai, that really depends on what kind of friend she is and uh... the circumstances it'll be used in. i.e. is it primarily to entertain her or are you invited to the party?
we should totally run an anonymous sex-help blog...
Primarily to entertain her...
Would that make a difference? ie. if there is another party involved?
So can you list both? Just for my curiousity.
well you can get simple vibes and deluxe vibes. simple ones are good because they can be smaller, that makes them more mobile and versatile for, well any number of things you can imagine (and a few things that would require a diagram) involving you.
deluxe ones usually bring a bit (or a lot) more to the party, mostly in terms of more stimulation but might not leave much room for you. you also need to consider if it's her first vibe ever. if it is you probably don't want to get something intimidating. for those with confidence, this isn't bad, despite the hype, especially now they're waterproof, and there's always the prospect of offering to help if she can't work it.
these are just suggestions. like sarah said it's a bit hit and miss, but that's part of the fun.
Sar - Well done!
Magic - Well done too!
The iVibe rabbit gets a thumbs up!
MB- I think I saw that episode of the glasshouse- bloody hilarious!
$200! You can get 20 live rabbits for that. We're not such good friends.
lol maybe you can just get her a can full of live bees?
Now that was a Mikey Moment!
When I first saw the graphic I thought they were some kind of space bongs...
Mikey- my first thought was that it was a MM!
Chai- just get your friend something bright and colourful. Or if you want to really embarrass her, a 13 inch John Holmes replica that she will have a hard time carrying home in her handbag :P
Whatever it is, she's bound to have at least some fun with it!
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