This is one of the more stupid things I have read on the SMH website today. I should have known better than to bother clicking on something in the beauty section, but seeing as I did I'm going to have a spray about it:
Do you look good naked? Maybe you don't even care at this time of the year. How much beauty time do you devote to your body?
'Beauty time' = dollars spent on products purporting to beautify a specific part of the body. Exhibit A:
- a good pedicure is a must
- Indulge in quick-fix body treatments and pampering treatments.
- Exfoliate and moisturise your entire body.
Note how there's a product or 'therapy' sold for every particular part of the body. You can't just trim your toenails and moisturise your feet, you must have a pedicure. An all-in-one product is undesirable for the beauty market, as companies make far more money by selling individual products for a host of imagined flaws than a single product that promises to fix them all. And remember, if your heels look a bit dry, you must be really, really unattractive. Just remember, it's curable if you've got the dosh.
It's not like I have any particular objections to exfoliating and moisturising, either. But frankly, it's not like not doing it is going to make you look unattractive in the nude. How stupid.
Speaking of stupid:
Wax and shave the hair on your body - your muff area (remember, he's English) must be maintained.
You know what? The guy who these 'tips' come from is a rampaging queen. Sure, a shaved 'muff' might be more aesthetically pleasing to Gok Wan than an unshaved one. But it's beyond me why anyone would care what he (or anyone else) thinks on the matter. Gok Wan is a British 'stylist' (although it's mind-boggling that anyone can call themselves a stylist and still take themselves seriously) and host of the show How to Look Good Naked. Once again, women are expected to buy into a totally artificial stereotype of what looks good. News flash: you don't need a brazilian, or even a bikini wax, to look good naked. Nor do you need shaved underarms. You might like to wax or shave, for whatever reason- great, good: do it for you, not because some guy on TV says you need to. I shave my underarms. I experiment with my pubic 'hairstyle'- but I don't do any of it because of what appeals to someone else. Personal preferences rule. Okay, granted, there might be extremes of hairiness that don't appeal to me or to a lot of other people, but our perception of what looks good is entirely subjective. And guess what? There are people out there who think this is absolutely fabulous:
And frankly, what's wrong with it?
Always get a fake tan.
Ka-ching! You'll look crap if you don't have a fake tan. Better go and fork out for one! Never mind that fake tans always wind up some bizarre colour that doesn't resemble a person's natural pigmentation (and in the worst cases they wind up blotchy without realising it and parade their fake-tan-besmudged flesh in public and leave everyone gawping at their bizarre white patches).
Omg, like, who'd want to see her naked? She's pale!Besides, this begs another question- does this mean that people with dark skin automatically look better naked (I'm assuming Gok Wan isn't pushing them to go and get fake-tanned too?), or haven't beauty product manufacturers found a way to make them as insecure as white people yet?
Nice hands matter. Get a manicure.
Again, I'll translate: "Give us your money!". Nice hands don't cost money. Wash your hands, clean and trim the nails and moisturise if necessary and your hands will look nice and healthy. Healthy = attractive.
Always wear makeup and cover up any unsightly blemishes with body makeup.
Oh get bent. I wear makeup quite often. Just mascara and a bit of foundation. It doesn't do my skin any favours at all, and if I wear mascara two days in a row my eyes feel funny- I typically try and give them a break by only wearing it every second day. Obviously I wear this gunk because I feel it makes me look better, but I have fallen into the trap of using it as a security blanket in the past, and I now make a conscious effort not to feel like I 'need' it. The average person really doesn't. Makeup is expensive, too. And as we all know, it's possible to really overdo it. As for 'unsightly blemishes'- is every blemish on your body really worth a crisis of confidence? Worth forking over for body makeup, for fuck's sake? Is a pimple on your back really a good reason to feel distaste for your own body? Gah.
You know what? I think Gok Wan is too skinny to look good naked. He should definitely get to the gym and bulk up a bit. Is Gok Wan gonna run off and start pumping iron just because I said something about what I think would make him look better naked? Hell no- not unless he's as insecure as the people he makes his television career out of.
8 comments:
Opening myself up for a slapping here but I actually LOVE Gok Wan.
There I said it.
I watch "How to Look good naked" and just finished watching a new episode about an hour ago. His show is actually about trying to empower women to feel good about their bodies as they are - lumps, bumps, cellulite - the lot - and how to find clothes that accentuate your good bits and hide your dodgy bits. They also critically analyse beauty products and debunk a lot of the myths that gain traction from multi-million dollar ad campaigns. Tonight was DIY chemical peels and the message was simply - they don't do shit.
I think you're right though in that people should do what makes them feel good - if that means muff half way down your thighs and a complete lack of makeup (I'm guilty on at least one count...possibly two) then rock and roll!
But that's the thing- 'good bits' and 'dodgy bits' are usually a cultural construction.
Gok Wan (and the tedious Carson) can kiss my ample arse.
I don't find these shows empowering at all, firstly why this endless focus on women's bodies and how to make them look better? Secondly, as you pointed out Sarah it's ridiculous that there's so many beauty products for every bit of our bodies.
I always remember the bit in The Beauty Myth where Wolf talks about the irony of women being sold apricot scrubs and avocado lotions (and other edible sounding beauty products) while also getting the message to starve themselves.
Interestingly, the runner up on Australia's Next Top Model last week was quite pale, had freckles and i would have said looked pretty common. Maybe that's the fash now?
I concur. Gok Wan is a purveyor of low self esteem. Why? Because you are forced to alter your body for the entirely manufactured for corporate benefit ideals of physical beauty.
I ain't never going to look good naked. I realise that. I don't shave, I don't wax (except one time for pre op), and I have a hideous paunch. So I am beyond the help of these beauty obsessed tards anyway. So that probably helps. But I still feel like shit because I am cruising around with what by genes determined was me and I am shock horror not confirming to change it.
Here's another blast from the beauty past.
Foot binding. People thought that was hot for some utterly insane fucked up reason. Because of tools like this twat.
hmm women taking beauty tips from openly gay man, what next "Painting with Hellen Keller".
Playing on womens insecurities certainly is a multi-billion dollar business. Ive lost count the number of times ive explained to women that i and a lot of men dont instantly like huge tits, yet many women seem to think that bigger always = better, go figure.
Fake tans are the rage in England. 95% of them look absolutely disgusting (plus, they're usually accompanied by bleached stripper-blond hair). The English also consider bright red sunburn to be a tan, too... so take whatever anyone from the UK says about tans with a couple of shots of vodka.
Haha, I googled "Gok Wan tanning lotion trial" coz I was trying to remember which brand of fake tan the "real" girl testers said was good for extremely pale girls... and I found your blog instead!
Brilliant! :D Much better quality than a bottle of St Tropez!
(PS i admit i did watch that ridiculous show with morbid fascination - did anyone see the finale with that bizzare ritualistic de-robing of the winner? WTF?!?)
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